A Grateful List

It has been a little while since my last blog entry.
I have been a busy man.
I am only able to put together a Grateful List for the time being but want to put together my thoughts for a few more entries this upcoming weekend.

Here's what I am grateful for:

1. Being able to spend time with my nephew, Blaine.
His birthday was last weekend and I was in Kansas City for it so I was not able to be here to help him celebrate. So, I took him to Olive Garden and we had pasta...well actually odd thing...he wanted the Calamari????? What 7 year old enjoys SQUID??? I ask you...but he did and he really enjoyed it...then we went off in search of the perfect ice cream...to which a little birdy told me that he love love loved COLDSTONE CREAMERY!! YUMMY!!! On the way, I was informed that Cookie Dough Ice Cream is the bomb-diggity. Note taken... Was a really good time had by the both of us. I just hope his Mom can forgive the sugar rush I left him with...

2. My Students
They never cease to amaze me. We are working on a monologue writing unit I have put together for them. Kind of cross-curricular in format. Not only are they assessing photographs, but they are creating background information and using their imaginations to create a character off of that selected photograph.
Well today they had to spend 10 minutes in free-write format, writing about their character's "Arch Enemy". They had 10 minutes to write all of their stream-lined consciousness thoughts, not put their pens down, and do NOT SECOND GUESS. All in their character's voice. It was exciting to see them actually writing for a change AND when asked to read the best line of their work, there was actually some really great nuggets of creativity. I was very very excited. The project looks promising...

3. My friends.
I have been blessed with wonderful friends in my life, that no matter how far we are apart, they love and support me. This passed weekend, a group of my Omaha friends converged on Kansas City to meet someone special who has come into my life. Not only was it a weekend to reconnect with Jason, who was not able to leave KC to come up to Omaha for holidays, but it was important to me that very important people in my life meet Justin and he them. All went very very well and a good time was had by all.
There are so many friends that I wish could have come down as well to meet Justin...but there are more times to make this happen. It was truly a great time for reconnecting and joking and enjoying one another's company.

4. For where I am and what I am doing...
Today a fellow faculty member gave me a really great boost. We have a medal/ award that faculty members present to other faculty members to recognize them for their hard work and dedication. I had asked Terri, who had received it at last meeting, who she was going to give hers to. She gave me someone else's name and then proceeded to stand up and explain to the room descriptors that began to sound like me...I was so shocked. It made me feel so good!!!

I am so blessed and grateful for where I am, what I am doing, and for getting the chance to work with some amazing people. I am surrounded by a wonderful group of teachers, who care, support each other, and are there to help and instruct and nurture their students. I see this every day and am just grateful that I get the chance to be a part of it.

I am exhausted. I am tired. I am heading to bed...

The Power of Contentment

I have mentioned a few times before about how contentment plays a common role in the passed few months. This has not always been the case in my short time here on this earth. I have not always felt content and that has been very disconcerting.

There are times I can recall being so disillusioned with where I was in my life. In high school, somewhere it is written that you have to set goals for yourself. Those life goals get set- at times, to a higher and higher wrung, sometimes unrealistically so. And then we sadly spend the many years that follow trying to achieve those lofty goals or fail miserably.

These goals also sadly define our lives, who we are, what we have to accomplish by those timed benchmarks. "By the age of 25, I was to be here, here and here." "By the age of 30, I want to have a ring on my finger, a strong stable job, and a strong understanding of my life's path"

And when we do not achieve...a sense of sadness, a sense of failure...

And for so many years, I defined myself by who I surrounded myself with. I defined my success by how much could I please my parents. I defined my success by how much could I maintain a hectic schedule and how much this schedule could cover the sadness that was in my heart.
I also allowed my happiness, at times, to be defined by who I was or was not dating. My success was defined by whether or not I had someone special in my life. And I know now that that was all unhealthy.

I tried and tried to find true love. I worked hard to be every one's friend and lost a bit of myself along the way. I thought that I had to have the love of someone else to define how I loved myself, when in reality, it should be the reverse. You have to LOVE YOURSELF before you can ever allow someone else into your heart.

Folks say, "It just happens when you least expect it." And I have shifted my focus to bettering myself. Not being so hard on myself and taking the time to learn more about me. To be comfortable in my own skin. Taking the time to just enjoy being around me. And slowly I could feel the new idea of contentment creeping into my darkest avenues...and I have found that things are changing. That somehow...my focus and vision went from "tunnel vision" to FULL PERIPHERY...a place I am learning to be more and more comfortable in...

And to have someone align themselves into my life's path on a more romantic nature is a wonderful roller coaster that excites me... So yes, It just happened when I least expected it. When I was not even looking for it. Just focusing on creating a better me, shifting my focus to a better job that fit much better into my life's goals I had set long long ago, and WHAM...there was my Prince Charming.

Just thought I would share...

The Grateful List #1

Today I am grateful for:

1. Family. I am so blessed to have an amazing family. They support me, listen to my rantings, and still love me unconditionally

2. Justin...I am grateful to have met someone who is my "calm in the storm". I feel so blessed to have found someone who brings a smile to my face at just the mere thought of him. Someone who holds my hand in the dark and supports me with just words...

3. Friends...My friends are my support link. I am grateful for their love and support. My friends are my family. This especially became so vivid to me on my last visit to Omaha. My friends there know me inward and outward. To be in their presence was exactly what I needed. I have lost touch with friends from way way back here recently and it saddens my heart. I used to be able to chat with them on a monthly basis and this is not the case any longer. Is this a case of "Moving on"? Or life...Probably the later...

4. My students. I found out today in my Drama class that a young lady who is joining the class for 2nd semester just moved to Little Rock from Omaha. How crazy is that? And it truly was great to see their smiling faces today. Many hugs and smiles today...was nice...

5. Grateful for Peeps. I love those sugar coaty marshmellowy goodness...just the thought of smores with sugary coated brown crunchy yummy goodness...ahhhhh BLISS.

Looking back...

2009.
where did you go?
you flew by so fast for some, and not fast enough for others...
I am grateful that you flew by lightning fast for me and was a complete roller coaster of change for Mr. Higdem.

2010.
Hello friend? How goes it? I am so glad you are here.
I look forwards to experiencing you on so many levels...

The idea of resolutions??? MEh.
I am realistic about these types of things...I have set the goals for the year...the idea that i needed to be beefier for some reason...joined the gym...and then let it all go by the wayside within weeks or months...so why put myself through that all...as well as you, my readers.

A few things I will say I am focusing on in 2010:

1. The power of inward reflection. This blog will reflect that, I can assure you.

2. The power of being grateful. I am grateful for so many things that have happened in my life. There are times when I get so bogged down with the negativity of my life...or the community...or in the world...so it will do my heart good to have a "grateful list".

Last but not least...

3. The power of prayer and meditation. I have felt out of touch in the last few years. Like I have been floating away on some level...or just trying to stay afloat. There have been many life changing events that have happened in my life recently...and I feel truthfully...that His hand has been guiding me along this whole time...even in the darkest of times...all have lead to this day...this moment...this present time in my life...and I am grateful...
So I will try to reconnect with the one who has lead me to this day with a few words of gratitude and prayer for those who need His guidance...I figure it will help me refocus...and help me to be thankful and humble and worldly focused instead of being self-centered, which I can be at times.

So there.
So BE IT!
Resolutions for 2010.

BRING IT ON!!!

Amidst the blizzard...

I got the chance to go out snowmobiling...something I have not done in YEARS!!

It was awesome!! The wind whipping your face while going 55 miles an hour across the frozen lake... The trees all covered in snow...Crisp and new

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Here's to reconnecting with old friends, new experiences, and celebrating the holidays with the ones you love!!!

So I look back at the last few months...

The end of the year is fast approaching. Such a huge rollercoaster. So as I sit here in my folk's living room in North Dakota, waiting for the next round of blizzard to pelt down on us...I look out the window and find myself getting all nostalgic...

So many Christmases have passed...but this Christmas seems different in some ways...

I am in a different place in my life. I was asked by my step-mom, a few weeks ago, what I wanted for Christmas this year...the more I thought about it...the more I felt the tears rise in my eyes as I thought, "Ya know? I feel something that my heart has not felt in so long. It is a feeling of CONTENTMENT. Something new to this very fast paced, rat-race life I have lead."

I have a brand new job that I love. I have co-workers who are so supportive and loving and always willing to provide a helping hand or just to be a sounding board. I have students, who sometimes drive me crazy, but have warmed my heart as well. I found that my semester test reviews went very well especially when I saw that OPRAH AH HA moment click for them and they "Got it"!! I say Bravissimo to that!!

The end of the semester was crazy!!! There was my directorial debut at NLRHS with Greater Tuna. We then had Thanksgiving break, and focused forward towards a HUGE Speech Tournament, followed by Beauty and The Beast auditions and then into semester tests. So sadly, Christmas cards just went out yesterday. I naively thought this past summer, "Gee, I am going to have a teacher's schedule. I am going to have all this time to rest and relax." See how funny that sounds to me now?? And as I look forward to next summer, I see my vacation time slowly slipping away, which is good...because I am still so excited at this new avenue and adventures in my life...that I think I can handle a few weeks of r-n-r rather than 2 months.

I have gotten the chance to become closer to my neice and nephew, Anna and Blaine. Claudia was saying that Blaine wanted to take his 5$ and buy his family gifts from the dollar store. He listed me on his list of five folks...I was pretty honored by that...I just don't think that that would have been the case six months ago. To get the chance to watch my favorite Christmas movies, Polar Express, with a little one in each nook...love it! And a holiday party with the Arkansas family before I left for Fargo was really really fun. Great food, great laughter, playin a fun board game, watching Blaine and Anna open their presents, getting some great pictures, hugs from Dad and Mom, being able to calm Anna and hold her with her head on my shoulder til she calmed from melt-down crying, but most of all just being together...priceless.

I have the chance to travel for the holidays. Now some may think that this is boring and treacherous. YES the roads were treacherous, but the quiet time on the road, listening to Christmas Holiday music and left to my thoughts was a wonderful reconnecting time. Something I absolutely needed and was granted at the perfect time.

To arrive in Fargo safely to hugs and holiday goodness....awesome!!! I got the chance to decorate Mom's large Christmas tree for my gift to her and Steve. (pictured above) Was so much fun!! It is so nice to be on the couch, smell the good food baking, watching HGTV, and relaxing. It just feels so good to be home. I feel my tense shoulders just relaxing away and I feel calm. The dog snores downstairs and I feel lucky to be here. I hope the rest of the family can make it out. Will be good to reconnect with them and Sydney, Gage, and Chloe.

I do have a special someone in my life as well and all roads lead to Rogers, Arkansas when we can. It is exciting to not only have a new career, but also someone I can share my life experiences with. He lives 2 ½ hours away and to be honest, long distance is working for us right now. He is looking towards school and finishing a degree. With all the time requirements being part of a speech/ drama department in my life and his life in flux up there, this relationship works for the both of us, which is so exciting. It is like nothing either of us have ever experienced. Fireworks. Butterflies. Meeting the family, who have grown to adore him. His name is Justin…and I am a giddy school girl.

I look forward to 2010 with great excitement, with children's eyes. I caught a moment withBlaine Garrett the other night. He never knew I was watching him...it was a terrific moment that spoke volumes to me. I have placed my beautiful porcelain and gold Nativity set on Pam's black grand piano. It is trimmed with poinsettias and greenery. Well, I peeked around the corner and here were these two little blue eyes and a chin setting on the piano taking in all the visions of Jesus' birth. There was such wonder...such sparkle...such excitement...and thats I how I look to 2010.

I feel such blessings.

I feel such wonder.

I feel contentment.

GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!

Much love-

Brandon

OMG!!!!

Sex and the City 2

This is the just released poster of Carrie and if you look closely at her sunglasses, it looks as though she is somewhere outside of NYC on a beach somewhere??? Storyline hint??? Who knows...

Can you tell I am an addict???

But you can be assured this man will be in those theatre seats opening weekend after a cosmo and looking through some pages of VOGUE magazine!!

I can hardly WAIT!!!