I bet you didn't know...

16 interesting facts about the ole BBH

1. My middle name is Douglas. The very same middle name as my Dad. The same name as my godfather. The same name as my step-mom's dog...and I try not to be offended.

2. I look back at my childhood and can see a through line where I knew I was gay. I did not come out until 1993 when I finally addressed the elephant in the room and faced my truth. But there were signs very  early on.

3. Wrote a pretty funny monologue/game show called "Catching the Clue Train to Coming Out"...poking fun at all the clues present in my childhood via extra large photos showcasing all the clues that were always there...

4. I am fiercely loyal to my friends and family.  I try so very hard to stay connected to my friends.

5. I am sad that I have friends that I have not kept in touch with and I worry about that...wondering what happened...and chalk it up to life and different journeys...but it still saddens me.

6. I believe in ghosts and their presence in our lives.

7. I believe in psychics and their connection to the other side. I can't explain it but know that there has to be some sort of connection.

8. I try to be kind to all people.

9. I am fearful of this world. I am afraid of living in this world and all that potential for destruction out there.  But with that in mind, I also try to counteract those feelings of fear with lightness and kindness and try to not get overwhelmed by things out of my control...focus on what I can and not get overwhelmed.

10. I have quickly become a huge fan of the Great British Baking Show. So good. So yummy.

11. I am extremely nostalgic. My thoughts wander into the past, wanting so much to go back and relive moments of my life that were amazing.

12. It was always difficult for me to be proud of my accomplishments in my life...I have had to grow into this...finding that happy medium between honoring accomplishments I am proud of, maintaining a sense of humble humility as well.

13. As exhausting as it is, I still love teaching and feel much more settled in...even though there are times when I feel like I am barely hanging in there.

14. I have not found the happy medium between working hard, trying to maintain my schedule and making sure my personal home life doesn't get faulted. And sadly, my loved ones pay the price. Thank GOD they still love me and humor me and remind me and remind me and remind me. And stay...for that I am grateful.

15. I am a creature of habit. If I find something I like, I stick with it. I am not very adventurous when it comes to various things...food choices, drink choices,  out of the comfort zone adventures...and I am trying to be better...try new things...have new adventures....

16. If there is a wig anywhere near...it goes on my head. The goofier I appear the better at times...

It's a question of exertion...

And Bow Howdy is that first part a hard thing to manage!!!!

I am one who has to figure out how to quiet my thoughts. 

I am still a work in progress. 

But honestly...

Can you imagine where we would all be if this were a motto for all mankind?

I think our world would be a bit more soft.

I need to be more heart driven and not head driven. 

I always make the better decisions when I follow what my heart feels rather than what my head spins...

or perhaps it is a combo of both? 

Thinking with your heart and your head?

Powerful stuff folks...

Everything...

If you haven't watched this as of yet...and cannot imagine how if you are living under a rock...but perhaps you should give it a watch.

So many friends have said that she is the perfect choice for our next President...inclusive, thoughtful, enlightened, a strong business woman,  an eloquent speaker, and someone who would feel approachable. 

I have also heard the other side where they are asking WHY would anyone vote for someone who has just as much experience as our current crazy choice. There are so many political choices available who would be just as plausible, if not a better option.

One thing I think 45 has done with his win is bring us back to what we have always dreamt of...yet possibly forgotten...

That anyone can and has the right to run for the office of President of these United States...

The office is not just for senators, governors, or public office holders...

We all have a voice.

We all have opportunity.

But he has also proven that not anyone SHOULD be President of the United States.

I think it is important to tread lightly and keep our eyes open my friends..

Not necessarily jump onto the first beam of light that shows itself...

Sadly we still have a LONG way to GO til we reach that day...

Carry on, my fellow sojourners!

Nicknames I have and the stories behind them

This was a journal entry from Pinterest and it just cracked me up!!

We ALL have had nicknames, some more endearing than others, that have followed us through life. And it changes as we navigate through our life's path.

Depending on the various hats we are wearing at the time.

When I was ALOT younger, I was called BRANDY.

THEN I went to seventh grade and felt older...and came home after my first day and announced to my parents that I was TOO OLD for BRANDY 

and that I would now be just BRANDON. 

I was blossoming into my own.

But all during this time my dad affectionately called me BOOGER (I guess cause I was his little booger) but it fluctuated actually between BOOGER and just plain BOOG. There are some times when I catch him wanting to call me this and sometimes he still does.

My mom would call me Bunkins. And I loved that one very much...but jump ahead to that fateful day coming home from seventh grade and those nicknames were forced out the doors to a more mature calling...

My co workers call me "BBH", which is what I sign my emails off with.

My students, when I first started teaching, had many names for me...

B-Dawg, 

Higgle (according to my giggle), 

Mr. H....

and then I got married...

and my kiddos just didn't know what to call me...

Box? 

Higdem? 

Box-Higdem

Nowadays, my kiddos call me a number of different things and I answer to any of them...Hey BOX. Mr. Higdem...

Mr. Box-Higdem

BH

My closest friends call me just plain "B".

I love my nicknames so much as they kind of define my journey in life and the different hats I wear on a day-to-day basis. They all show transition out of certain avenues and stages of my life as well...and showcase a need to be understood and not be embarrassed. 

They are endearing.

They showcase fond memories and stages of my life.

And I am just grateful for the smile they each bring to my face as I recall these fond memories of nicknames.

At your true core...

It's time to dig down deep and figure this all out.

Figure out what you want out of this thing called LIFE.

This one really struck me.

Oh the times when I just felt the need to belong, to be the life of the party, to be the funny one, to be the one everybody wanted to be around.

Mind you...

I am still very much this type of personality, but I have also found that I pushed myself to be this when I was younger and I just don't want this to be what defines the total idea  folks have of me.

But in the soul-searching and times where I just floundered around, I found myself.

I was on a rat-race and never took the time to figure who I was at my very core.

I was not comfortable in who I was.

I was a persona...Someone I believed was who people wanted to be around.

And it just wasn't doing me any good.

I was sad.

I was lonely.

I was extremely uncomfortable with ME.

I was even fake at times.

I only allowed certain people to be let in and then it was only a select few and only certain amounts of what I would allow them to see.

As the years have progressed, I have pushed myself to be come more open,  more quiet, more contemplative and figure out who I was becoming and redirect to become a more "present" person.

To actually listen.

Pay attention to others around me.

Offer shoulder and heart.

More than I have in the past...

And you know what?

In my allowing myself to be more raw, to be more open, to be more forthright with my feelings,

 to fail, to pick myself up and dust myself off and begin again,

I am finding out more about myself than what I had originally believed to be true.

To be kinder to myself.

To be okay with myself 

and LOOK...

I have learned that there are some aspects I like about myself

Some I am going to work on and try to fix.

A work in progress folks...

And that is okay.

The disappearing thank you note...

I am a huge cheerleader for the thank-you note.

Always have been.

And it seems to be a dwindling art form of showing appreciation, making way for the thank-you text, or the thank-you email, or the thank-you phone call.

And it is making me feel old.

We are currently in a world where we are tied to our laptops, adhered to our cell phones and texting with a fury. We are locked into our technology and forgetting that there is a world outside of the dang cellphone or Twitter account. 

Gratitude should not be allowed to be locked in to a certain amount of characters...

I could go on and on about the lessening and weakening of communication in our world because of technology.

But I think we should make a change.

I think it is something that should come back and experience a resurgence.

I think it is important to express gratitude in a way that will last, withstanding the test of time.

You cannot look back over a text years down the road and have that moment of memory wash over you....of a job well done, of a moment when you wanted to say "you appreciated a gift'" or "a kind gesture."

Each one of the newest ways to spread technological gratitude is very separating, very non-committal, very impersonal on so many levels and it is truthfully very depressing.

However, when you receive a hand-written letter of gratitude on a special card, or paper, it shows time and effort, and heart, 

and great thought. 

It is special.

It is important.

It is something special and can be cherished forever.

I challenge each of you to take a moment, buy yourself a packet of special thank-you notes and send one today! 

Send one to someone who has done something nice for you. 

Send one to someone who has made an impact on your life. 

Send one just to say "thank you for being there when I needed you."

Show some good ole fashioned gratitude today.

It will make someone's day.

It will make your day.

And you will be better for it.

Rethinking Church

Why is everyone so shocked that church membership is dwindling in numbers?

This very topic has been on my brain for quite some time...

Shockingly, over the Christmas holiday, I began to read the book "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown.

I came across a passage that really got me thinking...

Brown wrote, "From the Crusades, to the Inquisition, to American politics- the name Jesus has been hijacked as an ally in all kinds of power struggles. Since the beginning of time, the ignorant had always screamed the loudest, herding unsuspecting masses and forcing them to do their bidding. They defend their worldly desires by citing Scripture they did not understand. They celebrated their intolerance as proof of their convictions. Now after all these years,  mankind had finally managed to utterly erode everything that had once been beautiful about Jesus."

And I could not help but think how true this has become in today's society. 

So many different faith factions, claiming to be Christian and "of Christ" and yet they find it okay to persecute, to ridicule, to preach to, to talk down to, to build walls up to separate themselves from others, and to speak from their pedestals and behind glass windows.

I think many faith-based denominations have lost their way and have become entrenched in their own politics, blindly saying that this is what Jesus was saying or teaching. Over the years, they have taken portions of the Bible and bent the sayings and teachings to their own will and set that as the "will of God" in their own minds.

Blinding themselves to everything else written in the good book.

Turning a blind eye to the suffering right in front of their face.

Hurling their opinions down from their judgement throne.

And in part defacing the teachings of Jesus.

It is sad.

It is not unifying in the least.

People are dying.

People are starving and cold and in need of humanity and assistance

We are cheering the proposal to build a wall to "keep people OUT".

And folks are seemingly okay with this.

We are appearing to be focusing on laws and rules that should separate parent from child, supporting deportation, try to erase what was set before, place people against people and attempting to lessen one race from another, one gender from another, one orientation from another...

...all in the name of Jesus.

...all against what our very forefathers strove to instill in our crude country's beginnings.

It appears nowadays there is a shift happening

If you are a member of the outcast society, you are cast aside. 

You are unworthy. 

You are unwanted.

A modern day leper.

And it is horrifying.

But at the true core of this holy man's teachings, he taught us to embrace each other as brothers, love one another, support one another, and help each other as best we can.

Remember your fellow man.

We each have different shoes on our feet and are on different journeys and we must embrace each others differences and find a way to live more harmoniously...

If only we all would listen...

And yet they are "shocked" because churches are phasing out, becoming seperatist or dwindling...

And folks are not rolling with the times and modernizing and paying attention to the folks around you.

I had found a wonderful faith community in North Little Rock in my Argenta United Methodist family....a once in a lifetime opportunity...

And I just have not found that here in NW Arkansas.

Granted I really have not tried too hard to begin this spiritual process once again because it is just that...

a process.

I am so trigger shy to anything else because of all the horrible shifts out there in America, all the false prophets claiming this, but doing that, all of the negativity, all of the righteous dignity thrown  toward the LGBTQ community...

And life happened and we moved and Mom and new job and such.

But hopefully in the next year I can find a place to call my spiritual home once again to build my faith.