SO many many years ago, a wonderful high school friend and I reconnected and she asked me if I was possibly open to a new adventure. I had not seen her in so many years yet absolutely adored her. She mentioned that the school she was dean of students at had a theatre teaching position open and I had crossed her mind as a possible option.
I jumped and thought sure why not give it a shot. I could go and interview and see what came if it. I flew up to Pennsylvania. It was a wonderful trip. A chance to reconnect with a dear friend and her partner and to experience what life was like in the New England states. A Beautiful part of our country that I truly want to experience...but I digress...
One of the most interesting portion of the interview process was being asked the same question, numerous times, " How do you handle silence?" I was completely taken aback at this question.
As many of you know, I don't handle it well. I am a talker. Not sure you knew that or not...
Well recently, the topic of silence came back into my view and thought process. It is not that I had forgotten this topic, it is just so easy to forget...Loading on numerous projects, surrounding yourself with kids who function at a different level of energy, begin pulled this way, that way...finding silence when you can...usually in the wee morning hours, sipping the dark coffee, and trying to wake up...when you would rather get back under the warm covers and dark interiors of your bedroom...trying to silence the voices of reminders of everything you experienced the day before, or schedule reminders of everything you have to get done this day or that.
My pastor provided a wonderful book for our perusal for a leadership formation group we are creating at church. The book was entitled, "The Good Life: Benedict's Guide to Everyday Joy" by Robert Benson. One chapter covers the idea that one must find a way to learn how to order your life in such a way that there is a balance between my prayer, my rest, my work, my family, and my community times. He went on to state, " It is in the returning and rest that we shall be saved. But not if we do not even stop and sit down and be SILENT."
Love this so much!
Cultivate SILENCE.
For it is during this time that we silence our heads, (Which is not an easy task) our hearts, (Easier that we think) and allow God to enter in. He went on to state that it was also true that if there is no time set aside for the inward journey then there would definitely not be much energy left for the journey outward."
Once this happens, we are back to the rat race, blurring the sidelines and racing through our lives...not taking the time to really listen to those around us, being surface, and superficial.
Slow down.
Open your ears and hearts, dear friends. Cultivate Silence.
And allow whatever God, whatever spirit guide you pray to, to enter into your heart and head and bring solace...it is something we desperately need in the world of today...
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Grateful for...
There are so many things I can look back over 2012 and be completely grateful for...
Currently I am sitting here, procrastinating putting all of the Christmas boxes away in the attic because it just makes me so sad...I wish that Christmas could stay up all year round...yet as Justin puts it, then it would not be special as when it all comes back out of the attic and goes on display for all to enjoy.. I definitely can agree with that. However, it is the bare home without the trimmings that saddens me and makes me long for the full-tilt decorating that folks do. So happy, so light-hearted, so colorful, so creative, so giving, so much fun. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year...but what happens when it all comes down?
Depression hits and we are forced to look at barren walls, minimal decor, and struggling to make the joy come back...or maybe that is it? Maybe it is the joy that the season brings that we are to figure out how to instill in each other's lives? That feeling of giving unto others, by bringing a little color and pizazz into other folks' lives in turn finding joy in our day-to-day lives without the manger scene.
Directing A Christmas Carol this passed fall was one of those experiences where we were able to reach out to the community and give back. The show just lent itself to that. It was exciting to see the kids working so hard to bring joy to their audiences or to lend a hand by knitting or crocheting a scarf or bringing in a couple cans of food to share with a food pantry. It was definitely one of those wonderful experiences that will not likely be forgotten so soon, that is for sure.
There is something to be said about not being self-centered. Perhaps it is better to place your focus on being outward. We, as Americans, are caught in a conundrum. We have created a "what's in it for me?" mentality in our youth and have become the "Honey Boo Boo/ Real Housewives" generation, as disgusting as that may sound. It is the truth. Everyone demands hand outs and that everything will be given to them instead of working hard to create your own success...They expect instant fame, instant gratification, and instant wealth. They quickly learn that in order to succeed, you can only get so far on self-centeredness. you will eventually have to reach out to others for help.
If only we could keep what Scrooge learned in our hearts all year round and maintain the "give back" mentality that Christmas promotes. Just think of where our world would be then?
Currently I am sitting here, procrastinating putting all of the Christmas boxes away in the attic because it just makes me so sad...I wish that Christmas could stay up all year round...yet as Justin puts it, then it would not be special as when it all comes back out of the attic and goes on display for all to enjoy.. I definitely can agree with that. However, it is the bare home without the trimmings that saddens me and makes me long for the full-tilt decorating that folks do. So happy, so light-hearted, so colorful, so creative, so giving, so much fun. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year...but what happens when it all comes down?
Depression hits and we are forced to look at barren walls, minimal decor, and struggling to make the joy come back...or maybe that is it? Maybe it is the joy that the season brings that we are to figure out how to instill in each other's lives? That feeling of giving unto others, by bringing a little color and pizazz into other folks' lives in turn finding joy in our day-to-day lives without the manger scene.
Directing A Christmas Carol this passed fall was one of those experiences where we were able to reach out to the community and give back. The show just lent itself to that. It was exciting to see the kids working so hard to bring joy to their audiences or to lend a hand by knitting or crocheting a scarf or bringing in a couple cans of food to share with a food pantry. It was definitely one of those wonderful experiences that will not likely be forgotten so soon, that is for sure.
There is something to be said about not being self-centered. Perhaps it is better to place your focus on being outward. We, as Americans, are caught in a conundrum. We have created a "what's in it for me?" mentality in our youth and have become the "Honey Boo Boo/ Real Housewives" generation, as disgusting as that may sound. It is the truth. Everyone demands hand outs and that everything will be given to them instead of working hard to create your own success...They expect instant fame, instant gratification, and instant wealth. They quickly learn that in order to succeed, you can only get so far on self-centeredness. you will eventually have to reach out to others for help.
If only we could keep what Scrooge learned in our hearts all year round and maintain the "give back" mentality that Christmas promotes. Just think of where our world would be then?
Monday, December 31, 2012
Resolutions 2013
Every year, Justin and I send out a Christmas letter. It is a chance to look back over the passed year and reflect on all of the adventures our lives have experienced, both the good and the bad. Sometimes it almost feels like torture to create... sometimes it is the easiest thing and editing becomes a must to keep it to the two page update.
This year's letter appears to have been all about life's blessings for we truly have been blessed this year. From adventures to ND, visiting friends in Omaha, a wonderful visit with Justin's parents this summer. Becoming Godfathers to a wonderful little boy whose name is Cash. Throwing a retirement party for my Mom. Adventures with school always abound both for Justin and myself. Christmas Carol for the fall play. A 4.0 GPA that continues. Mom's newest bout with cancer but a terrific diagnosis and treatment regimine.
We truly are blessed.
I found the following verses on a website I enjoy. I think that these will be my resolutions for next year.
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.
John Wooden
John Wooden
A sweet, dear friend posted this on Facebook today and I absolutely love this...I think this shall be a resolution as well. It is from the book of Colossians and has really struck a chord with me...
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
I love this very much.
Happy 2013 sweet friends.
Wishing you a year ahead filled with light, peace, prosperity, and above all
LOVE
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Come from Love, Not from Fear
So the other night, I am watching Project Runway All-Stars. Yes this is one of my vices. I love this show very much for so many reasons. The creativity, the competition, the challenges...Not so much liking the All-Stars season...but that is for another time.
One of the challenges they usually have is their ready-to-wear challenge. One of the cool aspects of the All-Stars version was that they had to make a ready-to wear outfit that would fit into a designer's collection. The designer they selected was Elie Tahari. I had not heard of him for quite some time. Perhaps had walked passed his collection on Fifth Avenue in NYC, but had not really given him any extra thought.Elie Tahari is an Israeli-American luxury fashion designer of men and women's clothing The competitors got the chance to design in his store, go downstairs to select fabric from his collections, and then find out if the design would be budget essential.
One of the coolest things about this challenge was the fact that Tahari would also serve as a mentor as we ll as one of the final judges. Here's where it gets good.
One of the contestants was really questioning their choices. They were really struggling. Tahari came in with Joanna Coles, editor for Cosmopolitan Magazine and Tim Gunn wannabee, to consult the competitors. Tahari offered some amazing advice. He told the competitor, " You have got to come at this project from Love and not from Fear!"
How true! Can you imagine how much we could accomplish if this were the focus of us all? How many times have we left projects or adventures behind all because we were afraid of different issues...whether it is fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of looking stupid, or second guessing yourself and your choices.
It is my hope that we all can learn from Mr. Tahari's wonderful advice.
One of the challenges they usually have is their ready-to-wear challenge. One of the cool aspects of the All-Stars version was that they had to make a ready-to wear outfit that would fit into a designer's collection. The designer they selected was Elie Tahari. I had not heard of him for quite some time. Perhaps had walked passed his collection on Fifth Avenue in NYC, but had not really given him any extra thought.Elie Tahari is an Israeli-American luxury fashion designer of men and women's clothing The competitors got the chance to design in his store, go downstairs to select fabric from his collections, and then find out if the design would be budget essential.
One of the coolest things about this challenge was the fact that Tahari would also serve as a mentor as we ll as one of the final judges. Here's where it gets good.
One of the contestants was really questioning their choices. They were really struggling. Tahari came in with Joanna Coles, editor for Cosmopolitan Magazine and Tim Gunn wannabee, to consult the competitors. Tahari offered some amazing advice. He told the competitor, " You have got to come at this project from Love and not from Fear!"
How true! Can you imagine how much we could accomplish if this were the focus of us all? How many times have we left projects or adventures behind all because we were afraid of different issues...whether it is fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of looking stupid, or second guessing yourself and your choices.
It is my hope that we all can learn from Mr. Tahari's wonderful advice.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
It's very rare...
that I remember my dreams...
I very rarely remember dreams. But when I do, they are vivid and visceral.
I am standing on a stage. I do not know what I am doing there. Cannot see myself. Cannot see what I am wearing. It is dark except for the spotlight that is on me. I can sense that the house is packed all the way up to the upper balcony...
Radio City Music Hall? Carnegie? Not specific.
I am singing and have been performing for quite some time...
For some reason, I am performing the song, "So In Love" from Cole Porter's Kiss Me Kate. I repeat the phrase, " So In Love" three times, each time getting higher, louder, and longer, and remember feeling absolutely exhilarated. The orchestra swells as I hold the last note.
The cutoff...
And thunderous applause...
So loud I wake up...
I really love and hate those dreams...
I know it is something I will only acheive in my dreams....
And I am ok with that...
I very rarely remember dreams. But when I do, they are vivid and visceral.
I am standing on a stage. I do not know what I am doing there. Cannot see myself. Cannot see what I am wearing. It is dark except for the spotlight that is on me. I can sense that the house is packed all the way up to the upper balcony...
Radio City Music Hall? Carnegie? Not specific.
I am singing and have been performing for quite some time...
For some reason, I am performing the song, "So In Love" from Cole Porter's Kiss Me Kate. I repeat the phrase, " So In Love" three times, each time getting higher, louder, and longer, and remember feeling absolutely exhilarated. The orchestra swells as I hold the last note.
The cutoff...
And thunderous applause...
So loud I wake up...
I really love and hate those dreams...
I know it is something I will only acheive in my dreams....
And I am ok with that...
Thursday, December 27, 2012
The view from here...
Looking back over the fall semester...I am just in awe at everything we accomplished. I am exhausted and have learned more about myself than ever.
I see myself in a different way, finding myself at a crossroads, a moment of reflection. I look back and must remember that when I am in the middle of a respit during the summer, what looks good on a schedule paper, must also be manageable in my own schedule.
Back in July, I began to look at the fall schedule and saw that there were so many wonderful possibilities. In regards to Competitive Speech, I was so excited that I was going to be able to take the team to four tournaments!! We have NEVER been able to do that in past years, so for this opportunity I was super excited to be able to take the kids to four competition venues and get North Little Rock's name out there.
We also tackled a HUGE performance this year. We agreed to tackle the beast known as A Christmas Carol and because of the theme of the show and the time of year, it was felt that it would be most successful at a later time of the semester, in the month of December, rather than the originial beginning of November. This placement looked so good on paper.
We also have our own speech tournament thrown in there for good measure. It is always the end of November, right after the Thanksgiving weekend. So with all of that in there...I was kept running from top to bottom, beginning to end.
What I was not prepared for was having to juggle so much from my own schedule. I felt on my own in so many ways. I look back it now as a growing moment.
I need to be so careful. I cannot push myself to the point of exhaustion as I had this fall. I absolutely remember being able to do this schedule, to be able to rock it out, when I was younger and more youthful. This was the time when I was trying to get a name for myself. I would push
However, there are so many more things pulling my time and focus that I juggle in my life, that this time around was extremely overwhelming. I am sitting here post Christmas and having rested a bit and keep thinking, "When the summer schedule ideas get thrown out there and looked at on paper, do a better, more refined way of scheduling. Be more respectful to my own life so that I am not spread so thin. This semester almost killed me. I went to every tournament on top of running every rehearsal." That was the nature of the beast.
And it was exhausting...I think what was most discouraging was that because of the schedule, the kids suffered...maybe not necessarily all of my students, but I feel like maybe some of my students fell through the cracks because I was too focused on the production, too focused on the tournaments. I let many thinkgs fall through the cracks that were so important to me in the prior school years. Things I should reshift and get back on track for the Spring.
But what was also inspiring was how many faculty came to my aid. When the warning flares came up, when everything turned overwhelming, every little thing that pushed me over the edge, I am so honored and overwhelmed at how many folks came to my aid. I am reminded of William Benjamin Basil King quote, "Be Bold and Mighty forces will come to your aid." He was a clergyman who became a writer after retiring from the clergy due to loss of eyesight and thyroid disease. It speaks of courage and making bold choices. I love that. But on the flip side, I am grateful for the love and support I received when I needed it the most as it was definitely overwhelming and am glad to be on this side of it all.
I see myself in a different way, finding myself at a crossroads, a moment of reflection. I look back and must remember that when I am in the middle of a respit during the summer, what looks good on a schedule paper, must also be manageable in my own schedule.
Back in July, I began to look at the fall schedule and saw that there were so many wonderful possibilities. In regards to Competitive Speech, I was so excited that I was going to be able to take the team to four tournaments!! We have NEVER been able to do that in past years, so for this opportunity I was super excited to be able to take the kids to four competition venues and get North Little Rock's name out there.
We also tackled a HUGE performance this year. We agreed to tackle the beast known as A Christmas Carol and because of the theme of the show and the time of year, it was felt that it would be most successful at a later time of the semester, in the month of December, rather than the originial beginning of November. This placement looked so good on paper.
We also have our own speech tournament thrown in there for good measure. It is always the end of November, right after the Thanksgiving weekend. So with all of that in there...I was kept running from top to bottom, beginning to end.
What I was not prepared for was having to juggle so much from my own schedule. I felt on my own in so many ways. I look back it now as a growing moment.
I need to be so careful. I cannot push myself to the point of exhaustion as I had this fall. I absolutely remember being able to do this schedule, to be able to rock it out, when I was younger and more youthful. This was the time when I was trying to get a name for myself. I would push
However, there are so many more things pulling my time and focus that I juggle in my life, that this time around was extremely overwhelming. I am sitting here post Christmas and having rested a bit and keep thinking, "When the summer schedule ideas get thrown out there and looked at on paper, do a better, more refined way of scheduling. Be more respectful to my own life so that I am not spread so thin. This semester almost killed me. I went to every tournament on top of running every rehearsal." That was the nature of the beast.
And it was exhausting...I think what was most discouraging was that because of the schedule, the kids suffered...maybe not necessarily all of my students, but I feel like maybe some of my students fell through the cracks because I was too focused on the production, too focused on the tournaments. I let many thinkgs fall through the cracks that were so important to me in the prior school years. Things I should reshift and get back on track for the Spring.
But what was also inspiring was how many faculty came to my aid. When the warning flares came up, when everything turned overwhelming, every little thing that pushed me over the edge, I am so honored and overwhelmed at how many folks came to my aid. I am reminded of William Benjamin Basil King quote, "Be Bold and Mighty forces will come to your aid." He was a clergyman who became a writer after retiring from the clergy due to loss of eyesight and thyroid disease. It speaks of courage and making bold choices. I love that. But on the flip side, I am grateful for the love and support I received when I needed it the most as it was definitely overwhelming and am glad to be on this side of it all.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
One of those sweet moments...
Thursday eve was a rough one. One of those drooling out of both sides of her mouth, thinking her paw was broken, drunk drunk DRUNK off her tail.
We are standing in the lobby getting ready to pay and the vet brings her out to us. The vet gives her to Justin and begins to give us instructions on what to look for the next 72 hours. Emmy looks over at me and lays her paw on my shoulder as if to say, "Hey, I know you."
Heart melted...
And down for the count...
In it for the long haul...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)