It's been awhile...
I remember it like it was yesterday and talking about it bring back a dull pain.
Not as sharp as before...
I live with this pain but definitely not the same as others...
My pain does not encapsulate the loss of loved one, the pain of not knowing what their last moments were, the pain of not knowing where they were.
Their pain is what we feel the deepest.
Their pain is mixed with tears and anger and hurt and bewilderment...
At WHY someone felt it justifiable to do such a heinous act and remove so many lives.
To poke a burning ember at a resting soul only to spawn hatred.
My pain seems selfish in respect to theirs.
Mine pales in comparison.
Mine is one of regret, and hurt, and dreams lost, along with the horror of the event. My pain I have moved on from. How can you move on from something like theirs?
9 years.
Is never enough.
Not enough time to forget the falling debris.
To see the desperation in people's faces.
To forget the screams and the running and the cramming.
To forget the fear and the what do I do now??
At this very moment, what do I do now??
Hearing a mother's voice is the sweetest thing ever to a young son's heart...I am thankful I was able to hear mine. For other's I know this was not the case...
I can remember watching the second building tumble to the ground and remember it being like a picture show. Soft and gentle and yet knew deep in my most inner core...this was death and blood and dust and tears and sweat and screaming and hot metal and that this was worse than any horror film one could imagine. I cannot watch horror films to this day.
I remember the woman walking ahead of me through Times Square with the dust and debris still on her nylons. Time Square was a zombie land. White faced slow trudging beings who shocked and gaped and cried and moaned and just drudged through the barren wasteland.
I remember the young man on the subway, in sweats, with a garbage bag between his legs, finally getting through on his phone only to state, "That fireman pushed me into that van, but I know he's dead now."
I know he's dead...
How do you forget a day like that?
You don't forget.
But the pain does oddly dull a bit...
