Trying to wrap my mind around this...

I had a wonderful conversation with a very special lady in my life the other day. I think as I grow older, I become more and more sentimental. There are only a few people that truly know me for who I am. There are few people who truly know how to ask the correct questions. How to maneuver their way through the landscape that is my life and offer support and console exactly when I need it. I find this in this special woman.

Yesterday, we had a wonderful discussion about many things. I can tell this woman anything and know that I will receive excellent advice and wonderful feedback. We talked for about a half an hour about various topics. One topic really got my mind racing and actually caused my heart rate to rise. I actually could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I am trying to find my way in this world.

Many of you know that I have set myself a "bucket-list" of sorts. There are things that I want dearly in my life. For those of you who know the book entitled "The Secret" know that if you throw something out into the universe, it will come back to you triple fold. I am beginning to believe this more and more as I experience the adventures in my life.

• I have found that I threw out the idea of being overseas for my 40th birthday. Then it became I want to be in Paris when I turned 40. I devoted a great deal of thoughts to this...and it is coming to fruition a year early!!!


• I also want within the next five years to have a child. I am opening this to the universe to make this happen, no matter how it needs to happen whether through surrogate or adoption.


• I am saddened and frustrated however, when I watch TV shows that portray young teens who decide to abort when they made a wrong decision and think that these actions are okay. I get agitated when state legislatures decide that anyone who is not a "husband and wife" household cannot adopt. I am also saddened to hear of folks who abuse children, both verbally, emotionally, and/or physically, by locking them in their bedrooms or living rooms so that they can go get drunk somewhere else in the house. Or become so addicted to Meth or Cocaine and are forced to give up their children because they have made the wrong choices. Or an irresponsible woman decides that she is going to give birth to 8 children on top of the 6 children she already has.

Our country's adoptions agencies are bursting at the seams. Our country and state leaders are making rules that, at times, do not seem to fit this burst. At times it seems that our leaders would much rather have their agencies bursting than to find a loving household for each child, regardless of the relationship setting. The push against gay, lesbian, and same-sex couple adoption is truthfully about gay discrimination than child welfare.Buying into the gay rhetoric that gay adoption poses an unsafe environment for the child or that a gay environment is some sort of a "recruitment" environment is absolutely ludicrous. Truth be told, here are some facts I found:

1. There are already thousands of children living in gay households across America. The 2000 census stated 33% of female same-sex couple household and 22% male same-sex couple households a;ready have at least one child living under their roof under the age of 18. Can you imagine what 11 years pose in these percentages?


2. According to the American Psychological Association Policy statement on Sexual Orientation, Parents & Children, "There is no reliable evidence that homosexual orientation perse impairs psychological functioning. Second, beliefs that lesbian and gay adults are not fit parents have no empirical foundation."


3. There is no conclusive evidence that homosexuality is linked to one's environment. In other words, growing up in a gay couple household will not "make" a child gay.


4. And on top of all of this, groups across the country fall into these misconceptions and false pretenses and seek to reduce the rights of fellow human beings to adopt, regardless of the fact that adoptions agencies continue to grow and overflow. This does not matter. They would rather let these levels continue to grow than to provide a home from a loving adult who yearns for a child. Seriously? How ridiculous does that sound to you?

I am not allowed to adopt a child in the state I currently reside in. So what are other avenues??Surrogacy is a HUGE investment that seems so daunting at times. $30,000? $40,000? Seriously? So yeah, when I hear of these stories about choices being made for me, not KNOWING me, or when I read of these stories of "parents" treating their children as pets, or self-absorbed parents thriving in their own addictions and not paying attention to their own kids??

Yeah I have a HUGE problem with that. I am done speaking and will step down from my soapbox...for now...