"8"

Recently, I had the chance to perform with a group of people in the staged reading, "8", a new play by playwright Dustin Lance Black, who won the Oscar for writing the screen play, Milk. What an amazing experience!!! I played Charles Cooper, the antagonist, lawyer for the defense...a difficult role as I am so VERY different than this person. While there were many problems with the script, the content is biting, harsh, timely, eye-opening, touching, and thought provoking. A Q&A followed and was extremely moving and topics came up that I have covered on here before. And most of the dialogue is pulled form actual court transcripts along with hypothesized scenes with the plaintiff and their kids...

One of the most angering, blood boiling moments of this play is the inclusion of the actual commercials played in the state of California prior to voting. Each one of these commercials found it appropriate to speaking entirely of children and how the passing of Proposition 8 would be detrimental to children in the state and in America. The commercials portrayed gay people as beasts, as an inappropriate way to raise children...that if Proposition 8 is allowed  to stay on the California Constitution, children will have to be taught about gay marriage in schools and that is inappropriate. These commercials focused entirely on children.

One of the plaintiffs speaks about a moment on the LA locked freeway where he saw a a Yes on 8 bumper sticker and decided he would try to pull up to see who would want a bumper sticker like that on their car. As he pulled up, the look he was given was a WHAT sort of look. He said to them, "I just disagree with your bumper sticker." to which he was given the response, "Marriage is not for YOU people." WOW!!!!!!

My character went on to state: " I really think the state's main concern in regulating marriage, in seeking to channel naturally procreative sexual conduct into stable and enduring unions is - to minimize what I would call irresponsible procreation. It's not a good term, but I can't think of a more serviceable one. And that is, procreation that isn't bound by social norms and that often leads to children being raised by one parent, or the other or sometimes neither parent."  IRRESPONSIBLE PROCREATION?????

What angers me about this term is that obviously, as a gay man, I am not able to have a child naturally. Never ever EVER is a child for a gay man "irresponsible". They are planned, wanted, and many of us struggle to make this happen. If anything is more wanted in our lives, it is a child, who carries our own DNA, our own little piece of ourselves, a little ounce of our own mortality. One of the plaintiffs goes on to say, " You two are about the most responsible, important, meaningful things I will ever do in my whole life and don't you let anyone ever make you feel differently."

In regards to adoption and foster care, gay and lesbian parents outweigh the requirement of the biological parents as, "The studies show that adoptive parents, because of the rigorous screening process that they undertake, actually on some outcomes,  outstrip the biological parents in terms of providing protective care for their children." I found this particularly true and real for me. This truly struck a chord with my heart and head.

The play goes on to discuss the term marriage versus civil union. We could give the gays their civil unions with all the same rights and regulations provided heterosexual couples. However, the plaintiffs go on to state that even the term "civil union" still annotates not the same meaning as "marriage". "Husband" or "wife" is not the same as "civil partner" and still makes it second rate/ "separate but equal" type of label. Even more chords struck...

The discussion that followed was very truthful, emotional, and accepting. So many wonderful things were said. So many angering comments were made...not in a negative way...but eye-opening. One woman even stated that she had just married her partner of four years in Iowa, yet this marriage is not recognized in her home state...something Justin and I battle with. She went on to state that she had also had a partner of 30 years, prior to her current wife, who lost her battle to cancer. And in the state we live in, she had little to no rights as a "life partner" as any Joe on the street. That infuriated me. This woman had nursed this poor woman through to the end of her life...after 30 years!!!!

So the Supreme Court hears these two very important cases this week and they should have final decision and statement by June. My hope and prayer is that it is the correct decision that comes down so that J and I can get married and have the exact same rights as our straight friends and neighbors.

Thank you, Dustin Lance Black, for giving me such a profound, thought-provoking evening of theatre and discussion.