The passing of a Gentleman

As many of you know, my uncle passed away last week. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to drive home to be with my family and celebrate this man's amazing life. The strong example he lead his life by...it is an example his entire family leads day in and day out.

Tuesday evening was the visitation service. It was a difficult time for all. I am amazed at the fact that some of Don's family were able to get up and share wonderful memories of Don. I could not do it as I am, and continue to be, an emotional soul. I cry at the drop of a hat. It's ok. I feel things so deeply and throw in family sadness and I am down for the count. I have always said that I am more in touch with my feminine side rather than masculine...HA HA HA HA


Thankfully, I was able to write down my heartfelt feelings and the preacher agreed to read family member's thoughts and wishes for Don's family for those who just couldn't get up and make it through it.


Here is what I wrote:

"I had a great deal of reflection time on my drive back home to celebrate the life of my Uncle Don. There are so many fond memories I was able to chuckle about, sometimes weep about. There are so many fond descriptors I could give to define who Uncle Don was as a person.  Nurturing. Strong. Gentle. An example of hard work and achievement. A pillar of what being a man should be. For you see, once Grandpa Pete passed away, Don truly became the father figure for us all. He did this unknowingly and brilliantly.

What stands out to me powerfully is the fact that both Don and Doris are the primary example of love unconditional. When my Mom and Dad were going through the divorce and my family was in turmoil, both Don and Doris were there with no judgment, arms wide open saying, “Its ok, come home, be here, we love you, we support you.” It is this idea of unconditional love, this idea that there are no requirements, no demands, no definitions of “how you believe one person should live their life if it is different than yours” that rings true throughout their family. They have passed this down to Debbie and DuWayne, who have in turn passed this down to their own families. You built your family around love and nurturing…this was very evident.

When new members of our family came into the fold, Don, Doris, and their entire family were always there with no judgment, arms wide open saying, “Its ok, come home, be here, we love you, we support you.” And for this I will forever be grateful. I take great solace knowing that love is truly unconditional when it comes to my family…there is no judgment and that my partner feels welcome, feels loved, and feels the exact beauty of this love unconditional.

Don, I am going to miss you so much. But I take great solace in the fact that you were able to leave us on your own terms. That your family was able to be there and help you on to your next journey. Know that the example you set did not go unnoticed and I will be forever leading my life in this very example.

~Your loving nephew, Brandon"


It's those life changing moments that you never forget and I will be forever grateful for being able to make this moment, to be able to make the drive home, and to be able to cry with and "hug it out"and support my family through this difficult time.


He will be missed, but it is those moments when you think about all of what "could have been" and how it all actually played out, and as difficult as it is to say goodbye, there are so many blessings we all take great solace in. He was able to leave on his terms. He was able to say final goodbyes to his family. He blessed us all in so many ways and will never forget the example he set.