I love this...

Gentle reminders...
I grabbed this from one of my friend's Facebook page...
It speaks to me on so many levels...
So many times, folks get stuck on all of these to varying degrees at various times in their lives.
Truthfully, all of these points hinge on the ideas and concepts of energy expenditures and preservation, something I have been hyper focused on over the last few months.

I look at point number one and just keep thinking, "Boy HOWDY!!!" Just think of the life lessons I have learned from this...Allowing my past hurts and issues to cloud my present. That is giving those moments too much power and allowing them to define your present days.

In my younger years, I would get so wound up over my problems, my friend's problems, family drama...and I would spin and spin and spin...and would just exhaust myself. I love #7...Smile. You don't own all the problems in the world. The older I get the more I come to realize that I cannot fix the world. I cannot fix all of the other people's problems. I cannot heal everyone's broken hearts. Always remember that it is not your job to fix other's problems...it's not my circus, not my monkeys.

What I can do is be present. Listen. Own my mistakes. Ask for forgiveness for hurt I may have caused. Know when my opinion is being asked for. Give it with heart and great thought process. Allow time to heal all of my own hurts caused by yourself and others. Forgive those who have hurt you and let them go off to sea. Try very hard to surround yourself with positivity and stop comparing your life to other's lives. Stand up for what I believe in. Say what I need to say. Select what battles to fight and the ones to just let go. Live your own life as fully and deeply as possible. Don't give others your energy if they have not shown you the same courtesy.

Remember what other's think of you is something you have no control over and is none of your business. Seek your own truth. Understand your own truth. This takes time and being open to it. Live in your own truth, release that truth to everyone around you and try not to worry. What you put out there will be returned to you.

I love you, sweet friends. I thank you for being a part of my life and am grateful for your love, grateful for our journey together. Make today a great day!

Tough commercials...

It is tough to see the cancer medication treatment commercials out on the television waves...all these coming out so quickly after my Mom's life was completed and I can't help but think, " Where the hell was this drug when Mom was going through her chemo? Why was this offer not in the mix?"

And I just get frustrated ...
And seeing it just makes me so sad...

And the irony is that the commercial speaks of all the horrible side effects, as most of these types of commercials do, and what to expect while on the drug...yet we see a virtually healthy example of a woman going out jogging, having a basically busy day...and now I know that that is complete bullshit. It is so far from the truth of chemo and the backlash of what treatments entail. It is so dishonest.

But we cannot show the truth of the treatment. God forbid.
We cannot show the effects of cancer.
We cannot show the slow wasting away.
We cannot show the loss of hair, the sickness, the greyness and sallow skin color, the fluctuation of energy and loss of strength.
We cannot show the struggle to get up, to breathe, or to just feel better.
We cannot show the truth because no one would want to know the actual truth of it all.

I understand that this particular drug helps on many levels.
I guess my frustration just blows up, wishing that this was on the table and available for my mom. Perhaps it would have changed where we are today...

One more hurdle to get over, I guess.

Finding time for creativity and ART.

There is something to be said about working on projects that fill your heart with joy. When work doesn't feel like work...

I have found that there is joy in my heart and a spring in my step this summer. I find myself slowly getting back into the rhythm of my life and I am so glad to be feeling this feeling. I have missed it.

There are so many responsibilities of a theater director, as many of you who follow this blog will attest to...there is the prep, the hours and hours of research and concept development. All of this prior to auditions and first design/production meetings. There is the creation of rehearsal calendars, maneuvering your way through everyone's schedules and juggling and piecing it all together. There is the work during the rehearsal process, which requires creating movement for every member of the cast on a stage with a design in mind that is not there...making sure that everyone knows where they are going, what they are wearing, what they are carrying and what they are singing while they are dancing...Thank GOD for teams of professionals who take on these massive responsibilities and do it willingly and most times without compensation.
We do it all for the love of the craft.
We do it for the love and need for creative outlet and expression.
We do it for the camaraderie and community and family aspect we experience.
We do it for the thrill of theater and the need to create something both meaningful and entertaining, while stirring the thought process as well.

The hours.
The late nights.
The aching joints.
The tired vocal chords.
The drive and thrill when you get to put those costumes on for the first time or see that set design for the first time or feel the glow of the lights.
It makes it all worth it.


Over the past many many months I have been working on Sweet Charity, both in research and in meetings and in auditions and casting and creating rehearsal schedules, and sitting in silence and working through blocking. Watching in awe as the choreographers create beauty and crisp gesture and beauty through movement. Listening to a music director mold a sound that is a pure glorious wall. I love it all.

Many would look at this as torture. Or not worth it. Or too much. Or think about the missed vacation time. Or may not even know all of the back story getting a cast to opening night. They just sit down with their programs and read the director's notes or the actor's bios and when the lights go down in the theatre, prepare themselves to be moved, to be entertained, or even perhaps forced into looking at something in a different light they may have never expected. I love that!

Over the past few weeks, I have been a little jarred by the feelings I am experiencing.
Sheer happiness.
Struggle and stress, but it doesn't feel like struggle and stress this time around?
It is happiness and energy.
It is feeling a crew of folks all on board a creative train started with ideas I had months ago.
Willing to take the risk with me.
Willing to take the journey with me.
Willing to share the story with others and all for the love of their craft.
I am thankful for this journey and know in my heart, I will need to figure out the juggle for this creative outlet to continue along with another part of my career I enjoy just as much as the months and years progress.

In the end, friends, we all will not have jobs we absolutely, 100% love love LOVE with all our hearts. And that is okay. You have to pay the bills.
But you also have to find the aspects of your life that bring you bliss.
Keep yourself open to those moments and realize when it happens that this is what you have to feed your soul with just as much as the day-to-day bill pays.

Carrying on my fellow travelers, with a new spring in your step.
If you are missing this, why not take today to be the turning point in making that change?