Being Enough...

So here recently I watched a repeat episode of Oprah. You all know me and my affinity for Oprah and all she talks about. There are times when I think she goes overboard but there are always tidbits of golden nuggets of AH HA moments that speak to me on a deeper level.

In an interview with Ricky Martin, he mentioned the idea of being "enough?" It really got me to wondering about being enough. Am I truly "enough" for those around me? Am I best utilizing all that God has given me to be enough for my loved ones, for my students, my co-workers, my community, as well as for me? Can I be enough to all people and maintain a sense of me and my sanity. I don't truly think I am capable of being enough, of being truly genuine, 100% of the time. I have trouble with the "juggling of my life" and where I need to be and where I have to be. I struggle with being present all of the time and I think at times come acrossed as haphazard or fake or stuck up or pissy? My mind races when the schedule gets to be overwhelming. I struggle with being focused and calming myself to listen to what my heart says and follow.

This summer has taught me so many things. Provided me with so much insight as to who I am as a partner, a teacher, a son, a brother, a co-worker, a friend, a confidante, a member of a larger community. I struggle with how much time I can give and still maintain who I am as a person, at my very core. I try to be kind, gentle, supportive, postive, and a loving person. I try to be enough to those around me. But there are times when the schedule gets to be too much, or maybe there has been that "one too many" questions that I KNOW will frustrate me and push me to the brink...and I feel that feeling of tenseness, that rush of sarcasm and restlessness and sense of "SERIOUSLY?" and then am I truly being enough or just wanting to say ENOUGH? It is in those times that I need to find that moment to pause...reconnect...pull it together.

I was asked to help support a local production going on at a local community theatre by vocal directing. I had to say no as I cannot spread myself thin and expect those nearest and dearest to my life to stay committed to me and what we have built together. Yet I know that I must reach out to a community I am new in...build our program...do community outreach... and bring the arts to the masses...but at what cost? I was frustrated by this having to say no, but I know that it would be at the cost of another aspect of my life that is more important. And for this I cannot take on another project and expect others to stay committed to me.

I struggle with focus and concentration and truly listening. I find that when I do listen, I find that God does speak to me in the quiet of my mind and tells me that I am indeed "Enough" and that no matter how much of the path gets bumpy and filled with schedules...if I pause and truly listen not only with my ears, but also with my heart, I truly find myself able to connect to what drives my core. God nudges me on and say you can do this and I am able to continue.

What exactly is "enough"? I could go into the whole dictionary definitions of the word, but that does not make for good reading. However, the loftier side of me asks the question, "How much can one sustain being enough? Where is the line and how does one know if and when you reach this point?"

I think we ALL have the capacity to do great things. We have the capacity within us to shake things up and set the trend. We have the capacity to be all things for those who need us the most. To a point. We most certainly must prioritze if we are going to be able to sustain health, heart, and home. But we also must be willing to reach out and be involved, but also to know where our boundaries are. We must be willing to pause, to stop, to listen to what Spirit is whispering in you. To hush the drones of the ratrace of life and take in the hum of your heart.

It is my sincerest wish for each of you that you find your own sense of being "Enough"...


"You have always had the power. You have always had it, my dear" ~ Glinda, the Good