Love em Like Jesus...

So it was an emotional weekend...
It had began on Friday night...what a wonderful surprise to have my little sister drive all the way from Wichita, KS to be in the audience for the Friday night show. It is a moment I will never ever forget. What a special surprise!

Then we all came together on Saturday as a family to support our own as they deal with the pain and loss of a brother and son. My brother-in-law, Dusty, lost his brother, Denny, last Friday unexpectedly at the age of 33. Denny left behind a wife and four children all under the age of 9.

Saturday was his memorial service and I can honestly say I have never been to a service as uplifting, as musical, as spiritual, as energetic, as love-filled before in my life. Lots and lots of photos, presented in a video montage that was on auto-play. Denny's spirit just leapt off the screen. Lots of music played as Denny was an avid singer, guitar play, and songwriter. They even played a video of Denny playing in Dusty and Rosemary's living room a song he had written using valuable advice his two grandfather's had given him as a child....so sweet and sad and wonderful. Kris Allen was there to sing with his brother Daniel, as they are Dusty and Denny's first cousin. Was amazing to hear Kris perform live...what an awesome voice and would love to be able to experience a concert of his. SO good.

But it was truly the message given by the preacher that moved me and everyone there. He spoke of a young Denny coming to church in his baseball cap and never taking it off. As you may guess, the elder parishioners did not take to kindly to that. So the preacher calmed them by saying that he would have a discussion with Denny, which he then went to do. Denny responded with a "I will see what I can do" and then proceeded to do exactly as he had always done. :) So DENNY!

The preacher then went on to say that Denny exemplified that idea of "Can I be who I am...can you take me as I am? Can you let me be my own authentic self and can you love me regardless?" I was so deeply moved by that, in regards to today's world and all of the turmoil going on surrounding marriage equality, the Bible discussions, and religious versus restaurant discussions happening around the nation. Really and truthfully, doesn't it all bear down on that very statement into its purest form? "Can you let me be my authentic self and love me regardless?"

The preacher then went on to say that Denny and his family had moved to Pine, Louisiana, and were attending this small rural church with only a small organ and maybe 60 congregants. He came back to Little Rock and cornered the preacher at church the following Sunday. Denny was so distraught about what to do and where to go with this new journey he had been given. The Preacher told him, " You gotta love them like Jesus. You gotta love em like a freight train barrelling through and watch the results. Trust me! Just love em like Jesus"

Right before Denny passed away, he came back for a visit and said that they had had a VBS summer session at church with 90 kids involved and that there were not even 90 people living in Pine! How exciting was that? He had put together a Praise Band at church and their church had tripled in size. SOOOOOO exciting.

"Love em like Jesus" is a phrase I can place my belief on, my faith in, for with everything that is going on in today's world, all the hatred being slung left and right...I have always said that I need to lead my life as Jesus would want me to and everything else will fall away...Denny was only 33 and yet had made a HUGE impact on so many lives, including the youth of his area. If only we could follow by his example and reach out to those in need. I think it is this example that his family and friends can take great solace in, knowing that he had made a difference in many, many, MANY lives while he was here on Earth.

Bucket List revisited...

With the bucket list items getting slowly crossed off, I feel it is important to revisit what was originally on that list and remind myself of where I have yet to go.

Reminders are good. I find that I need to keep lists the older I get. And I am ok with that. I am busy, but thankful.  I am tired, but rejuvenated. I am winding down a life's dream/goal, but have so much more I want to see and do.

Let see, what would be on that list...

1. Travel to Paris.
2. Travel to London
3. Skydiving
4. Take an Alaskan Cruise and see the whales
5. See the musical Jersey Boys
6. Play the role of Archibald Craven in The Secret Garden
7. Play the role of Harold Hill in The Music Man
8. Play the role of Sweeney Todd in Sweeney Todd
9. Travel to Rome
10. Sing with an orchestra
11. Record a CD for sale
12. Write a book. Maybe publish?
13. Have a child.
14. Build my own home and be able to design it the way I would like it...a dream home, if you will.
15. See the fall colors of New England
16. Rock climb
17. Parasail in the Carribean
18. Be remembered for being a good man.
19. Grow Muscles.
20. Play the role of Emcee in Cabaret

The list goes on from here. But looking back I can see that experiences can be crossed off and have my pencil ready to cross off a few more next summer. More details to come...

I think these are realistic??? And achievable!! Don't you?

What is on your Bucket List?

YES!!!!!!!!!!

I found this in an article I was reading the other day. I find it's content very profound and very inspirational.

"Because he’s a social liberal, Cory Booker, the Newark mayor, is seldom mentioned in terms of religion, but it turns out that he’s made a study of the Bible, as well as other sacred texts, and given considerable thought to faith. On his Facebook page a few months ago, he mused thusly:

“Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people. Before you tell me how much you love your God, show me in how much you love all His children.”

After "liking" his Facebook page, I have continued to follow his postings. Recently he had some pretty profound things to share that I feel are important. Something we can all use.

He states: "You were not born to be average, normal or typical.

You were not born a carbon copy.

You were born unique, born to excel, born to manifest the glory of the universe in your authentic truth.

You are not weak.

You are stronger than you imagine, wiser than you know, and have vast powers that you have yet to actualize.

... Stop playing small.

Be YOU. Tell your truth - now, today, this very moment.

Manifest your true self - not a poor reflection of your circumstance.

Don’t walk through this world unconscious of your greatness, sleep walking, surrendering your light to the bland grey around you.

You were born to be brilliant,

to be light,

to be fire.

Infuse your glory into this moment, into your choices, into your deeds, into the habits you create.

Consciously choose.

Choose your body through conscious consumption.

Choose your attitude, through conscious thought.

Choose your destiny by being present right now – for remember mindful moments multiplied, totally transform tomorrow's.

Today choose integrity, choose discipline, choose joy, choose joy, choose joy.

Rejoice in your blessings AND, most importantly, know that EVERYTHING is a blessing.

And your blessings are rich soil.

So choose to grow into the boldest, proudest, most glorious version of YOU.

You were born for this."

 

I could see my life forming around this mantra for the next year...I might even share this with my students in the "getting to know you" first week and ask them to share what these words mean to them...

I love this very much! 

Be Here Now...

Such an absolutely powerful message... I came across this documentary preview and was so moved. In the sight of recent events with some of my family member's lives, this message speaks so true to me. My heart goes out to my sister, brother-in-law and his parents, who are dealing with the sudden loss of his brother. There is no amount of support, love, prayers, anything that can take away the hurt, pain, and loss they are feeling right now. And even though this is no where near the same situation, as Andy had time to prepare and fight the cancer in his body...the theme rings true...Be here and now for we never know what tomorrow holds for us...

We only have moments together on this Earth.  Something my mom said to me yesterday rings true, "We only have today as tomorrow is not guaranteed."

It's those moments when his children excitedly run into their daddy's arms that move me to tears...to know he is now gone...losing his struggle to the cancer that had riddled his young body...What is so shaking to me is that he was younger than I am.

"In my mind, this is right where I am meant to be...supposed to be right here and now...keeping yourself open to the journey and the new discoveries and the adventure of all of it...Be Here Now is all about being present and not fearing what you don't know.

Thank you, Andy, for your powerful message and for showing us the power of the human spirit. The drive to win is to prevalent and your strong example and willingness to share your journey is so moving for me and one I will not forget.

Being able to cross a bucket list post off...

If you go back into the later posts of this blog, one would find a bucket list that I had posted years ago. One of those items listed on that bucket list was to play the role of Emcee in the musical Cabaret. Back in January, I auditioned for a local production of the musical and received the news that I indeed would be able to cross that role off my bucket list this summer. I got goosebumps and the entire experience has been an absolute dream come true.

I have had the wonderful chance to work with friends and co-workers, create new friends in the cast, sing with an amazing orchestra, wear beautiful costumes, be a part of the innaugural production at a brand new theatre, work with a director that I had been wanting to work with for quite some time, and create a role that I had dreamt of since seeing Raul Esparza portray it at Studio 54 years ago in NYC. I have to pinch myself every time I walk into the back of the theatre to see the set and feel the hustle and bustle of the tech team. I have loved all the press we have done locally, though quite early in the morning at times, I have loved the excitement of it all.  I am in awe that we are sold out and have been for almost a week. I am so excited that friends and co-workers are buzzing with excitement to see the show...I cannot believe the time is almost here.

I cannot believe that I am here, getting the chance to do this role, and more importantly be "back on the boards" after being away for so long. For many of you who read this blog, you know of the vocal scare I had years ago, that required surgery, and here I am six years later finally getting back onto the limelight. I am so grateful to God for getting me here and for taking me down this path. I feel vocally stronger and ready to take on the world.

Thankful to be here...right now...in this very moment...on the cusp of an opening night that I have dreamt of for many, many, many years.

Sticks and Stones may Break my bones...

There is a new sermon series we are beginning at the church Justin and I are attending that I am very excited about...It is called "Sticks and Stones: When God's Word HURTS". Our pastor, Will, is bringing this to us as a means to help answer many of the questions we as humans struggle with...or maybe not fully answer but raise questions and shake our foundations and help us find a sense of new purpose.

What Will did this evening was begin the series off by having members of the church stand and read Bible verses that many of us as God's children struggle with...Whether it was verses concerning slavery, the demonization of homosexuality, or the involvement of women in the ministry and in the church. We read from Leviticus, we read from Exodus, we read from Corinthians You know the ones...Its the Bible verses that get quoted over and over and over and over and many cling to to judge, to support, to negate, to cram, to squelch you as a human being...and was the very reason I strayed from the various churches I tried to reach out to for soul inspiration...

Then Will closed with a selection from Galatians...I want to include it here for my future reference...
Galatians 3:26-29
"For in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. As many of you as were baptised into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise."

Will went on to say that Paul was telling the Galatians that all of the things listed were irrelevant in comparison to being one with Christ, being in step with our Creator. Our identity is not defined by what we wear, who we hang out with, but open for all with a oneness for Christ. I like this very much.

Now obviously I can only speak about one of the three topics...But in the end they are all dealt with the same way. It's the Bible verses that get crammed down our throats by those who cling to their own version of the word...and that's really it...and it is ok...they have every right to build their own foundation however they see fit...but they lose sight of this idea of "oneness in Christ" that I think is the most important and how can you be in step with the Creator when you are tearing down those around you to gain sure footing in your own mind?

My coming out process was very difficult when it came to the Bible. I struggled with it for YEARS. I read what it said in the Old Testement. I have read those verses. I have had them smeared in my face by family members. Reading my verse this evening in front of the church brought back the same cold sweat, the nerves, the shakey voice, the feeling that I just wanted to cry. Why wouldn't it? Would you want to be told you were an "abomination"? Who chooses that? Seriously?

The older I get and the more comfortable I get in my own skin, the more in tune I become with what I believe God is telling me...I can sense that He is leading me down this path and has guided me every step of the way to this point in my life. I firmly believe that. And that He has lead me to listening to my heart and reading what Jesus' teachings were and that is something I can build a firm foundation on.

I want to be in a oneness with Christ. I look forward to the evening session on my life's journey, my foundation, who I am and have always been...a child of God who is created different than others around me, who is not an abomination, whose" blood is on my own hands"...but someone beautiful and worthwhile.

I have not felt so inspired and hopeful about church is soooooooooo long. I began to call all my friends here in town to see if they would want to come...I think it is a very courageous discussion Will has begun and I am so grateful that I am here and now and able to experience this...

MORE TO COME...you can be sure of it!

daring to CARE...

You know throughout my years of living on this Earth, I have struggled with this for years...perhaps you can help me out in this...

God has said that we are to help our fellow man...

We are to assist the less fortunate, those who are struggling to make it in this life...

You see the photos on the news...

You remember the conversations your grandparents had about how "THEY" beg for money just so "THEY" can go get more alcohol...

You live in New York City and pass them on the street...the naked woman wrapped in the garbage bags, rocking back and forth, who looks like she has not bathed in months and cries on the cold concrete...

Standing on a street corner with their cardboard sign needing any assitance...

The man on the subway with the wraggled clothes, the rag-wrapped feet, and a strong smell of urine...

One moment of wanting money and leading to a pulled knife or gun and it is over...

Jesus encourages us to reach out and help our fellow man who is needy and helpless for they are knocking on the door to heaven...

Yet in a world where violence reigns supreme, where you can go block by block and safety is an issue from one to the other... How can one do it? How can one feel comfortable giving money to someone in need and not feel those scary feelings of "Please do not do anything but take the money I offer you now..."

How does one fight the feelings of fear and still reach out to help those in need of help?
How does one shake that feeling of "What ifs" to reach out and help the less fortunate?

It is completely unfortunate, this world we live in, where fear, hatred, and evil lurk around every corner and you have to question who you can trust is telling you truth, and show the compassionate hand of Jesus, as He would want you to?

I struggle with this so much...

Our newest addition to our family

How is it that something this tiny can win over a hard heart?

One friend texted, "All of the cute!" at her arrival photo to everyone of our friends...and yes....there is NO CUTE LEFT OUT THERE! It is all cram-packed into this tiny body loaded with LOTS of personality!!

Meet EMMY, the newest addition to our family. She is a miniature schnauzer and at her first weigh in with our new vet, she weighs a whopping 2 lbs!

But she has quickly settled into our home and is learning so many things! She knows where her dog dish is and she knows that "outside" is for the potty and exploring. Now I will say that her daddies are also learning that the inside is still a little potty place but that will change I know.

Justin wants to dress her. She already has an X-men cape and almost had a Lady Gaga "Little Monster" T-shirt in her closet. I however feel like, "It's a dog. Seriously? Doggy clothes?" I know that the pet industry is HUGE as evidence of walking through Pet-Smart to find a few toys, doggy bed, and Purina food. I feel that I am going to lose this battle. Justin, and our friend Jessica, have informed me, "Just WAIT for Halloween!"

Oh dear...