The view from here...

Looking back over the fall semester...I am just in awe at everything we accomplished. I am exhausted and have learned more about myself than ever.

I see myself in a different way, finding myself at a crossroads, a moment of reflection. I look back and must remember that when I am in the middle of a respit during the summer, what looks good on a schedule paper, must also be manageable in my own schedule.

Back in July, I began to look at the fall schedule and saw that there were so many wonderful possibilities. In regards to Competitive Speech, I was so excited that I was going to be able to take the team to four tournaments!! We have NEVER been able to do that in past years, so for this opportunity I was super excited to be able to take the kids to four competition venues and get North Little Rock's name out there.

We also tackled a HUGE performance this year. We agreed to tackle the beast known as A Christmas Carol and because of the theme of the show and the time of year, it was felt that it would be most successful at a later time of the semester, in the month of December, rather than the originial beginning of November. This placement looked so good on paper.

We also have our own speech tournament thrown in there for good measure. It is always the end of November, right after the Thanksgiving weekend. So with all of that in there...I was kept running from top to bottom, beginning to end.

What I was not prepared for was having to juggle so much from my own schedule. I felt on my own in so many ways. I look back it now as a growing moment.

I need to be so careful. I cannot push myself to the point of exhaustion as I had this fall. I absolutely remember being able to do this schedule, to be able to rock it out, when I was younger and more youthful. This was the time when I was trying to get a name for myself. I would push

However, there are so many more things pulling my time and focus that I juggle in my life, that this time around was extremely overwhelming. I am sitting here post Christmas and having rested a bit and keep thinking, "When the summer schedule ideas get thrown out there and looked at on paper, do a better, more refined way of scheduling. Be more respectful to my own life so that I am not spread so thin. This semester almost killed me. I went to every tournament on top of running every rehearsal." That was the nature of the beast.

And it was exhausting...I think what was most discouraging was that because of the schedule, the kids suffered...maybe not necessarily all of my students, but I feel like maybe some of my students fell through the cracks because I was too focused on the production, too focused on the tournaments. I let many thinkgs fall through the cracks that were so important to me in the prior school years. Things I should reshift and get back on track for the Spring.

But what was also inspiring was how many faculty came to my aid. When the warning flares came up, when everything turned overwhelming, every little thing that pushed me over the edge, I am so honored and overwhelmed at how many folks came to my aid. I am reminded of William Benjamin Basil King quote, "Be Bold and Mighty forces will come to your aid." He was a clergyman who became a writer after retiring from the clergy due to loss of eyesight and thyroid disease. It speaks of courage and making bold choices. I love that.  But on the flip side, I am grateful for the love and support I received when I needed it the most as it was definitely overwhelming and am glad to be on this side of it all.