When the subject is giving too much power...

This has been something on my mind for many months if not years... I want to address this here...
What strikes me is how much we, as human beings, give the people in our lives, the ones most important to us, all of the power in our lives. We bend over backwards, we struggle with the whys and whens and hows of the boyfriends/ girlfriends in our lives. So many times in my career, young people tearfully struggle with why he doesn't love me, why is she treating me this way, what can I be doing wrong?
Allowing someone to control your life makes you feel so helpless.
It can even go with you for many many many years.
I am a high schooler and had a crush on this friend, who happened to be a girl. See back then I dated my closest friends knowing that in the end they would have to break it off as I was so awkward when it came to dating relationships. However, the reverse would happen.She basically lead me on while she was dating the man who would eventually become her husband. I was bitter and angry and so hurt that she could not even tell me that much. Were we not friends first? Needless to say it did not end well and we parted ways and a friendship ended.
And you know? I KNEW deep down my inner truth. I KNEW that it would end poorly anyway as I was more attracted to the quarterback on the football team.
Here's the deal...I carried that hurt for years. I have friends who have dogged her left and right. And I allowed her to have all the power in my mind. The years had rolled by. I let it go and stopped allowing her to have power over my emotions. Truth be told,  I had forgotten about her. I had moved on. I assumed that she had as well.
20 years roll by and we come together for our high school 20 year reunion and this classmate is there. I come in with my partner and friends to the mixer the first evening of the weekend. And look across the room and there she is. She comes over with this pouty look on her face, almost too over the top to be believable. I hug her and introduce Justin. And the next thing out of her mouth is this, "I am so sorry. I am soooo sorry. I am just so sorry."
She had carried that for 20 years. WOW! All I could say was, "It's alright. Really! It is alright!" Sounding like a broken record.
I am So Sorry.
It is alright!
I am just so sorry.
Believe me, it is alright!
Who would have ever thought that that would be the reverse? She had allowed all the power to be given to me and that moment in our lives and had carried it with her all those years. I felt horrible for her and a sense of pity. I had moved on and found love and comfort and she in turn had carried guilt with her for the way she had treated me.
There are other people in my life who have hurt me and those I love. I struggle so much with what to do. I have written a few folks off in my life for their ignorance when it comes to my life. They are not there day in and day out and so their importance in my life is next to nil. I do however feel horrible that I allow them to have power over my thoughts. That I think about them. That I think about what the coming years will be like when life events happen and we will have to see each other. What I will or won't say. And then feel ridiculous that I give them the power of my thoughts and should focus on the more important things in my life.
 I pray for God to show them the way. I pray for God to show me the way. God grant me a tougher skin and a stronger backbone. Quit being a worry wart and practice what you preach. I give them too much power and need to refocus my life in a way that follows the mantras I want in my life.
How do you handle these times in your life? Who has the most power in your life?