The Power of Contentment

I have mentioned a few times before about how contentment plays a common role in the passed few months. This has not always been the case in my short time here on this earth. I have not always felt content and that has been very disconcerting.

There are times I can recall being so disillusioned with where I was in my life. In high school, somewhere it is written that you have to set goals for yourself. Those life goals get set- at times, to a higher and higher wrung, sometimes unrealistically so. And then we sadly spend the many years that follow trying to achieve those lofty goals or fail miserably.

These goals also sadly define our lives, who we are, what we have to accomplish by those timed benchmarks. "By the age of 25, I was to be here, here and here." "By the age of 30, I want to have a ring on my finger, a strong stable job, and a strong understanding of my life's path"

And when we do not achieve...a sense of sadness, a sense of failure...

And for so many years, I defined myself by who I surrounded myself with. I defined my success by how much could I please my parents. I defined my success by how much could I maintain a hectic schedule and how much this schedule could cover the sadness that was in my heart.
I also allowed my happiness, at times, to be defined by who I was or was not dating. My success was defined by whether or not I had someone special in my life. And I know now that that was all unhealthy.

I tried and tried to find true love. I worked hard to be every one's friend and lost a bit of myself along the way. I thought that I had to have the love of someone else to define how I loved myself, when in reality, it should be the reverse. You have to LOVE YOURSELF before you can ever allow someone else into your heart.

Folks say, "It just happens when you least expect it." And I have shifted my focus to bettering myself. Not being so hard on myself and taking the time to learn more about me. To be comfortable in my own skin. Taking the time to just enjoy being around me. And slowly I could feel the new idea of contentment creeping into my darkest avenues...and I have found that things are changing. That somehow...my focus and vision went from "tunnel vision" to FULL PERIPHERY...a place I am learning to be more and more comfortable in...

And to have someone align themselves into my life's path on a more romantic nature is a wonderful roller coaster that excites me... So yes, It just happened when I least expected it. When I was not even looking for it. Just focusing on creating a better me, shifting my focus to a better job that fit much better into my life's goals I had set long long ago, and WHAM...there was my Prince Charming.

Just thought I would share...