On my way home from helping Justin move yesterday, I got the chance to touch base with my dear friend, Dawn. It had been awhile since we had last talked. It was like we had never been away and picked up right from where we left off in our conversation.
This morning on the Today show, they had a segment concerning friend interventions and how once friends get married or have kids, the friendships they have worked years to cultivate and hone, eventually goes by the wayside. This saddens me.
Many of you know that I am a pretty emotional kind of guy. I have always said that I am more in touch with my feminine side. But, upon further investigation and thinking about these current events, it is totally true. I have a number of friends in my life that have spent our milestone events together and have lost contact.
High School:
You graduate. You pull that tassel across that mortarboard. You write in each other's yearbooks: Never Change, Stay your own Sweet Self, Best Friend's forever. Never lose touch.
College:
You graduate. You promise to stay in touch. You begin your running down life's path in search of your set goals. You promise that friends will be with you forever.
Yet when you jump ahead and look at the life road's each of us walks down, you begin to realize that making promises like that cannot be realistic. You cannot be realistic about staying touch and being your own sweet self. Or can you?
I think you have to be willing to work at it. You have to be willing to put in the time, no matter what the process it takes. Whether it is setting a time to touch base. Whether it is chatting through instant messages. Or reconnecting on Facebook. You do whatever it takes to stay in touch with those people in your life, who have seen you at your best, who have been there when life get's the best of you, when you achieve those life goals, or when life throws you a blow. They have been there through thick and thin.
I celebrate a milestone this week. I am turning 38 years young. I had been dreading the fact that in two years I will be 40. I used to dread this looming milestone. Yet, I dreaded something more...I dreaded the high school reunion. I did not go to my 10year reunion. I just was not in a personal good place...where I wanted to be in my life, those life goal's achieved. Plus, I did not feel like 10 years was enough time for us to "grow" into our skins and be comfortable with who we are.
I know face my 20 year reunion in a different mind set. I am in a different place. I am so much more comfortable in my skin. I feel good with who I am and what I have accomplished. I look forward to reconnecting with old friends and being back in Bismarck, North Dakota...a place I hope has stayed it's own sweet self!!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
GRADUATION: May 21, 2010
I now get it...
You push. You pull. You complain. You lecture. You butt heads. You write the long forms. You support. You nurture. You love.
I tried so hard to get one of my students to get up and actually speak in front of the class. She did not want to write her daily journals. A few sentences at a time. Mostly, "I don't knows". She was extremely soft-spoken and shy. So polite and quiet hearted. And then she turned in her written monologue and it was absolutely wonderful!!! I was amazed. It was like pulling teeth to get her, as well as her fellow cohort, to be creative and think in vivid details for the daily journals I require. And then she turns in a wonderful story.
Skip Ahead...
I receive a call from a guidance counselor stating that one of my students, who happened to be enrolled in both my Drama and Stagecraft classes needed to drop the Stagecraft class to complete his English requirement in order to graduate. He was so angry and mad and refused to transfer out. He did not want to take English. I pulled him into my office and sat him down and said, "I want you to be in my Drama class. I really want you to be in my Stagecraft class. But most of all, I WANT to see you walk across that stage and take that diploma! I WANT to see you graduate! And I will not get the chance unless you make the right decisions, which means you have to take this English course. You have to! Do not deny me the joy of seeing you walk across that stage!!"
Jump Ahead...
I had a young man who was in and out of my class. Consistently late. In and out of SAC. He and I butted heads pretty hard last fall. But through this monologue unit I have been teaching, I finally saw a glimmer of light in his creative soul. Something he could latch on to. As students got up to perform their monologues, I would ask, "What have you been working on?" and then ask, "Anyone have feedback?" He was the first one usually to speak up. And he was consistently right on track with that feedback. Hearing my words come out of his mouth. Knowing that while he was in group work, he was focused for the first time in our time together in class.
JUMP WAY AHEAD...Graduation day
You push. You pull. You complain. You lecture. You butt heads. You write the long forms. You support. You nurture. You love.
I tried so hard to get one of my students to get up and actually speak in front of the class. She did not want to write her daily journals. A few sentences at a time. Mostly, "I don't knows". She was extremely soft-spoken and shy. So polite and quiet hearted. And then she turned in her written monologue and it was absolutely wonderful!!! I was amazed. It was like pulling teeth to get her, as well as her fellow cohort, to be creative and think in vivid details for the daily journals I require. And then she turns in a wonderful story.
Skip Ahead...
I receive a call from a guidance counselor stating that one of my students, who happened to be enrolled in both my Drama and Stagecraft classes needed to drop the Stagecraft class to complete his English requirement in order to graduate. He was so angry and mad and refused to transfer out. He did not want to take English. I pulled him into my office and sat him down and said, "I want you to be in my Drama class. I really want you to be in my Stagecraft class. But most of all, I WANT to see you walk across that stage and take that diploma! I WANT to see you graduate! And I will not get the chance unless you make the right decisions, which means you have to take this English course. You have to! Do not deny me the joy of seeing you walk across that stage!!"
Jump Ahead...
I had a young man who was in and out of my class. Consistently late. In and out of SAC. He and I butted heads pretty hard last fall. But through this monologue unit I have been teaching, I finally saw a glimmer of light in his creative soul. Something he could latch on to. As students got up to perform their monologues, I would ask, "What have you been working on?" and then ask, "Anyone have feedback?" He was the first one usually to speak up. And he was consistently right on track with that feedback. Hearing my words come out of his mouth. Knowing that while he was in group work, he was focused for the first time in our time together in class.
JUMP WAY AHEAD...Graduation day
As I tried to tell my mom about these stories, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. For the first time in my life, I get it! For so many years, I had only taught in quick three week sessions. Quick lapses in time. But to see kids day in and day out and fight for them.
North Little Rock's Graduation Ceremony is very special. As faculty, you put your robes on and walk through the graduates in the backstage areas of Verizon Arena. Hugs and smiles. Shaking hands. Lining up. Walking out to "Fanfare for the Common Man". Lining up in two rows and creating an aisle from which all of the graduates walk through to "Pomp and Circumstance" to their seats.
And I got to watch the young man nervously walk across that stage and get that diploma. I saw the smile on the young lady's face as she walked by to go up on stage to shake hands and get that piece of paper she had worked so hard for. And... I sat right across from the young man who had riled me so last fall. As he came back to his seat, I caught his eye.
"Is it in there?" I asked him.
"Yes, Mr. H, it is." he said with an absolute glimmer of excitement in his eyes and a smile on his face.
I gave him a thumbs up and said, " I am so proud of you!"
I sobbed into the phone as I relayed these stories to my mom. I am so blessed to have had these moments with these kids. I just hope that they take what I have given them and never forget that they have the power to be whatever they choose to be, if they put their minds to it. Just breathe and LEAP.
"Is it in there?" I asked him.
"Yes, Mr. H, it is." he said with an absolute glimmer of excitement in his eyes and a smile on his face.
I gave him a thumbs up and said, " I am so proud of you!"
I sobbed into the phone as I relayed these stories to my mom. I am so blessed to have had these moments with these kids. I just hope that they take what I have given them and never forget that they have the power to be whatever they choose to be, if they put their minds to it. Just breathe and LEAP.
Monday, May 17, 2010
FEEDBACK
OK Friends!!I would like feedback from you...
The top picture is of my current arm tattoo. I would like to make it a half sleeve.
Complete and as solid as possible. The more colorful the better.
Complete and as solid as possible. The more colorful the better.
I really like the bottom photo which was a cover of a book I found while spending a weekend with Justin.
I do not want to lose the integrity of what I already have but I do want to connect and fill up the rest of the area.
Was thinking of having an arm band created from the book cover picture to create a stopping point on my arm. But what do I do to connect...do I have the artist connect the scrolls with more wings tied throughout...or do I have the wing arm band placed and then have him continue the scroll work throughout...
Any other ideas???
I am having this done with my tattoo artist, Seth at Villains in Omaha, the end of June when Justin and I drive through on our way to Fargo to spend some much needed R-n-R with Mom and Steve. I am up in the air...
Sunday, May 16, 2010
A wave of Relief...Two Years in the Making
So, as many of you may or may not know, I have been having vocal problems/ issues for the last two years. A new way of thinking, a surgery to remove an enlarged polyp, lasers, morning rituals of Claritin, Omneprezole, and multi-vitamin, watching what I eat, drink, being "vocally focused", speech therapy, and hardest of all...no singing or acting in performance and public...
I had come down to Arkansas in April 2008 to sing with Dad in church and take a much needed vacation from the hustle and bustle of retail. All went well, but when I woke up then next morning, I realized that my voice sounded even more hoarse than the day before. I went in to a Ear, Nose, and Throat doc down here who sent a scope up through my nasal cavity to take pictures of my vocal chords. You know something is wrong when the doc gets ready to spray stuff in your nasal cavity and hands you three Kleenex and says, "You are going to need this." He then sprays and the tears come immediately as the numbing spray goes up your head and trickles down your throat numbing all the way.
After the scope and pictures, I remember going to my car in the parking lot. It was raining heavily and matched the tears rolling down my cheeks. I called my Dad and he told me to come to his office with the photos. When I got there, Pam was there as well and they both were looking at the photos. I remember Pam looking concerned to Dad and saying, "Honey, should we tell him?" to which he responded, "Yes, I think we should." They both look at me and Pam says, "Darling, you have a vagina in your throat."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" I think.
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY me!!!!"
I am so thankful that at that one moment...something that could be so dark for a singer/ actor as myself...could be lightened so much by such a wonderful comment. It made me get out of my head and refocus in a way that only Pam could do for me.
Jump ahead to July 2008 and surgery. I am afraid of needles. I am afraid of becoming Julie Andrews. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being asleep. Fear of my parents being in the same room together. LOL! Surgery went very well. They did however remove a polyp, once the size of your pinky fingernail, now the size of your thumb to the knuckle. I remember relief after waking up. I remember crying after waking. I remember relief at waking up to not hurting as much as I thought I would.
Jump ahead to September 2008. After three weeks of heavy sneezing, I was back in the doctor's office for a checkup and a scope. We found another small polyp starting. And all the bottom fell out again.
Speech therapy. Moving out of the apartment I was living in. Put all my things in storage. Realize the value of needing friends to see you through. The power of friends and family to see you through the hard times and support you and care for you.
Jump ahead to May 11, 2010. Went in for another scope. The Three Kleenex route. The immediate tears. The numbing spray. The uncomfortable scope chord going up through the nasal cavity and down the back of your throat to hear the words, "Excellent!" I have a clean bill of health. The doctor has said that my Vocal Vagina is clean and clear of polyps! He even mentioned that the scar tissue is near normal and almost invisible.
I am so grateful! I am going to sing again. I am going to be able to perform again and feel life's blessings all over again.
I had come down to Arkansas in April 2008 to sing with Dad in church and take a much needed vacation from the hustle and bustle of retail. All went well, but when I woke up then next morning, I realized that my voice sounded even more hoarse than the day before. I went in to a Ear, Nose, and Throat doc down here who sent a scope up through my nasal cavity to take pictures of my vocal chords. You know something is wrong when the doc gets ready to spray stuff in your nasal cavity and hands you three Kleenex and says, "You are going to need this." He then sprays and the tears come immediately as the numbing spray goes up your head and trickles down your throat numbing all the way.
After the scope and pictures, I remember going to my car in the parking lot. It was raining heavily and matched the tears rolling down my cheeks. I called my Dad and he told me to come to his office with the photos. When I got there, Pam was there as well and they both were looking at the photos. I remember Pam looking concerned to Dad and saying, "Honey, should we tell him?" to which he responded, "Yes, I think we should." They both look at me and Pam says, "Darling, you have a vagina in your throat."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" I think.
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY me!!!!"
I am so thankful that at that one moment...something that could be so dark for a singer/ actor as myself...could be lightened so much by such a wonderful comment. It made me get out of my head and refocus in a way that only Pam could do for me.
Jump ahead to July 2008 and surgery. I am afraid of needles. I am afraid of becoming Julie Andrews. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being asleep. Fear of my parents being in the same room together. LOL! Surgery went very well. They did however remove a polyp, once the size of your pinky fingernail, now the size of your thumb to the knuckle. I remember relief after waking up. I remember crying after waking. I remember relief at waking up to not hurting as much as I thought I would.
Jump ahead to September 2008. After three weeks of heavy sneezing, I was back in the doctor's office for a checkup and a scope. We found another small polyp starting. And all the bottom fell out again.
Speech therapy. Moving out of the apartment I was living in. Put all my things in storage. Realize the value of needing friends to see you through. The power of friends and family to see you through the hard times and support you and care for you.
Jump ahead to May 11, 2010. Went in for another scope. The Three Kleenex route. The immediate tears. The numbing spray. The uncomfortable scope chord going up through the nasal cavity and down the back of your throat to hear the words, "Excellent!" I have a clean bill of health. The doctor has said that my Vocal Vagina is clean and clear of polyps! He even mentioned that the scar tissue is near normal and almost invisible.
I am so grateful! I am going to sing again. I am going to be able to perform again and feel life's blessings all over again.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The light bulb goes on...
The last four weeks of school have been absolutely frustrating, crazy busy, and I can thankfully feel everything beginning to wind down. The seniors have been fairly unproductive and unfocused since right after Prom. I had forgotten this. My friend Shari commented the other day during an instant message chat, "Do you not remember our senior year??" To be honest, I have slept since then.
I specifically remember the stress of wanting to please everyone...teachers, parents, pastors, grandparents, everyone. Feeling such pressure to be successful.
My Drama 1 students have been working on how to write a strong monologue since the beginning of the year. They began with a selection of a photo that "spoke" to them. They filled out a lengthy profile of many different questions. They also filled out numerous free-write journals and were divided into groups to talk through routes their monologues could take. Group feedback was essential. I encouraged them to write in vivid details.
I cannot tell you how frustrated, how repetitive I felt by repeating things over and over and trying to get my students to focus, especially in group activities. There was so much creativity in those nimble hands...all on the cusp of good things. However, it was like pulling teeth to get them to talk in their groups. How do you sign up for a drama class and not think that you are going to be creative and perform at some point?? Are you immune to speaking in front of people?? Ummm no...
So we took a break and went through a thing I call "Group Educate"- an activity that allows students to cover large amounts of textbook information, condense it, and bring it to their cohort for learning. This nine week's Group Educate unit dealt with emotions, motivation, blocking, types of stages, gesture, stage business, power and who as it, all the things they will need to present their monologues for their finals.
Jump ahead to the last few days...
They have been divided into new groups and have been given class time to work through their monologues. They are given feedback, both from myself and their peers, after their performance. Here is where the light bulb came on...
Today...the last day for some seniors...we presented more monologues for group feedback. The exciting moment is this: One of my students gets up, presents their monologue, and I turn to the class and say, "Feedback?" What happened next was so exciting to me...all of my words came out of their mouths and I did not have to say a thing. They were all supportive, said the right things to the young man, he took their feedback, the class remembered his past performance and made comment about certain cuts he had made since then and how disappointed they were that he had cut certain things out. He was open to the things they were telling him.
BLESSINGS ABOUND!
BLESSINGS.
ABOUND!!!!!!!
I specifically remember the stress of wanting to please everyone...teachers, parents, pastors, grandparents, everyone. Feeling such pressure to be successful.
My Drama 1 students have been working on how to write a strong monologue since the beginning of the year. They began with a selection of a photo that "spoke" to them. They filled out a lengthy profile of many different questions. They also filled out numerous free-write journals and were divided into groups to talk through routes their monologues could take. Group feedback was essential. I encouraged them to write in vivid details.
I cannot tell you how frustrated, how repetitive I felt by repeating things over and over and trying to get my students to focus, especially in group activities. There was so much creativity in those nimble hands...all on the cusp of good things. However, it was like pulling teeth to get them to talk in their groups. How do you sign up for a drama class and not think that you are going to be creative and perform at some point?? Are you immune to speaking in front of people?? Ummm no...
So we took a break and went through a thing I call "Group Educate"- an activity that allows students to cover large amounts of textbook information, condense it, and bring it to their cohort for learning. This nine week's Group Educate unit dealt with emotions, motivation, blocking, types of stages, gesture, stage business, power and who as it, all the things they will need to present their monologues for their finals.
Jump ahead to the last few days...
They have been divided into new groups and have been given class time to work through their monologues. They are given feedback, both from myself and their peers, after their performance. Here is where the light bulb came on...
Today...the last day for some seniors...we presented more monologues for group feedback. The exciting moment is this: One of my students gets up, presents their monologue, and I turn to the class and say, "Feedback?" What happened next was so exciting to me...all of my words came out of their mouths and I did not have to say a thing. They were all supportive, said the right things to the young man, he took their feedback, the class remembered his past performance and made comment about certain cuts he had made since then and how disappointed they were that he had cut certain things out. He was open to the things they were telling him.
BLESSINGS ABOUND!
BLESSINGS.
ABOUND!!!!!!!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The turning of the tides...
April 3, 2009: Same-Sex Marriage shockingly became legal in the state of Iowa, before the more progressive state of California.
March 10, 2010: Constance McMillen, a senior at a high school in Mississippi, was denied access into her Senior Prom, because she and her girlfriend wanted to go together. She has become the face of a movement across the country, being invited to proms and fundraising events.
Our President and leaders of both Congress and the Pentagon continue to negotiate their ways through the turbulent waters of Don't Ask Don't Tell.
The NOH8 Campaign was organized by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska and his partner Jeff Parshley in a direct response to the passage of California's Prop 8. Subjects are photographed with duct tape over their mouths and the symbol "NoH8" painted on the face, symbolizing the silencing of voices because of ridiculous propaganda and laws against human rights. For more info: http://www.noh8campaign.com/.
I recently attended Grand March at the high school I am working at. I witnessed a few things that were different from when I went to high school and attended prom. There were still the corsages, the balloons, the beautiful dresses, the awkward fitting tuxes. I had heard through the rumor mill that there would be a male student who was going to attend in a dress. I applaud his strength and willingness to go against the grain. He did not walk in Grand March, however, I guess he did attend the actually dance itself in full drag only to remove it again for Post-Prom. Amongst all the couples being introduced were two girls escorting each other. A little while later, there came two young men also escorting each other. The crowd was a bustle already from the excitement of the evening.
However, when the two young men walked under the ROTC escort's swords, the intensity went up a few decibles. Groans. Commotion. Sadly, I had forgotten that I am now living on the belly button portion of the Bible Belt.
I have felt frustration at the fact that I have moved back to the closet doors after being out for so long and feeling so comfortable in my own skin. I live my life to the fullest, happy, full-filled, successful, and proud of who I am and what I do for a living. There is a new pressure I feel to live more "quietly" after being somewhat out loud for the last 15 years. I am struggling with this, trying to also figure out how my boyfriend fits into this whole picture of quietness, when neither of us live in that mode.
I know that our founding fathers gave each and every one of us the right to pursue our hopes and dreams...Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
That is all I want in my life... happiness, success, a joyful life, liberty and a damn good bridal registry...
Not asking much...
March 10, 2010: Constance McMillen, a senior at a high school in Mississippi, was denied access into her Senior Prom, because she and her girlfriend wanted to go together. She has become the face of a movement across the country, being invited to proms and fundraising events.
Our President and leaders of both Congress and the Pentagon continue to negotiate their ways through the turbulent waters of Don't Ask Don't Tell.
The NOH8 Campaign was organized by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska and his partner Jeff Parshley in a direct response to the passage of California's Prop 8. Subjects are photographed with duct tape over their mouths and the symbol "NoH8" painted on the face, symbolizing the silencing of voices because of ridiculous propaganda and laws against human rights. For more info: http://www.noh8campaign.com/.
I recently attended Grand March at the high school I am working at. I witnessed a few things that were different from when I went to high school and attended prom. There were still the corsages, the balloons, the beautiful dresses, the awkward fitting tuxes. I had heard through the rumor mill that there would be a male student who was going to attend in a dress. I applaud his strength and willingness to go against the grain. He did not walk in Grand March, however, I guess he did attend the actually dance itself in full drag only to remove it again for Post-Prom. Amongst all the couples being introduced were two girls escorting each other. A little while later, there came two young men also escorting each other. The crowd was a bustle already from the excitement of the evening.
However, when the two young men walked under the ROTC escort's swords, the intensity went up a few decibles. Groans. Commotion. Sadly, I had forgotten that I am now living on the belly button portion of the Bible Belt.
I have felt frustration at the fact that I have moved back to the closet doors after being out for so long and feeling so comfortable in my own skin. I live my life to the fullest, happy, full-filled, successful, and proud of who I am and what I do for a living. There is a new pressure I feel to live more "quietly" after being somewhat out loud for the last 15 years. I am struggling with this, trying to also figure out how my boyfriend fits into this whole picture of quietness, when neither of us live in that mode.
I know that our founding fathers gave each and every one of us the right to pursue our hopes and dreams...Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.
That is all I want in my life... happiness, success, a joyful life, liberty and a damn good bridal registry...
Not asking much...
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I am struggling...
Ok, so I know that I have not been a good blogger here recently, but I have so many worthy excuses. BUSY being the only viable option I can come up with. Also, I am a first year teacher who has been absolutely swamped to the point of being overwhelmed- my second excuse. But I do have so many avenues from which to take this blog going forward, because life has been anything but BORING. Juicy tidbits ahead...
From Beauty and the Beast, our schedule went right into Prom, Post-Prom, State Speech Tournament, to studying for my Speech Praxis, which was probably the worst test I have taken in a LONG time, to auditions for Graduation Speaker and talent for Senior Breakfast. Can you see the direction this is going?
From time to time, I am faced with the phrase: "But you would not have thought this way when you were a student. You look at this with an entire different focus." The student of today is very different from the students we were in high school in the early 90's. My idea of the students of my generation (God that phrase seems to date me) were focused, driven, cohesive, challenged, fighters for what they believed in and passionate about everything. Or at least maybe I was. Then again maybe not. Maybe I am just lofty and jaded.
Today's students are all of these things and more. They are troubled, challenged on so many levels, fighters in gangs, and bring a whole other table of troubles to the table. They also bring a "What's in it for me?" and a "How much is this gonna be worth?" type of attitude to the table that at times can be extremely daunting and nerve-wracking. Almost like they are in a bargaining mode or a "If this is not worth too many points, I am going to consider not doing it," type of thought process. This thinking process would NEVER EVER have crossed my mind because although I may not have agreed with my instructors, I damn well respected them enough to know that "NO" was not an option. I got my homework turned in and it was on time. I never negotiated. I never questioned.
Seniors these days are allowed to exempt their semester tests if they have put in the correct amount of hours and missed no days. This is good. This is a wonderful option for students to achieve. The down side is that they get a mentality of shutting down about four weeks before finals. BOOOOOO!!!! Senioritis! I cannot tell you how many comments from my seniors sounded like, "Well, if I am exempting your test and not performing my monologue for a grade, why do I have to present the monologue in class?" I respond, "Because you are exempt does not buy you free time in every class leading up to semester tests. If you choose to do nothing with your class time, I cannot give you participation points"
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! This class is supposed to be easy", I hear under their breath.
"Darlings, life is NOT easy and this is my class. I control it according to my rules. If you do not like the rules, you can pay the consequences." God, I sound like my parents!! ;)
This brings me to an event known as SENIOR SKIP DAY. Seniors miss days during Junior testing. They miss the entire day of Prom to get ready. And then I find out today that the day of their Senior Breakfast, an event which happens to be before school starts, has become known as Senior Skip Day. So to combat this I decided to set it up so that if they choose to miss my classes, by skipping this day, they would not get class participation points for that day. Here's the clincher that I find out...if they buy a ticket for breakfast, they are exempt for the ENTIRE day. SAY WHAT??? To call it a SKIP day shows a choice being made NOT to attend class...Why should I bless this with exemption and points if you cannot get yourself to class and be functional as such?
I try so hard to be a good teacher. I try so hard to be liked and let students know that they have a home away from home, that our department is fun and safe and nurturing. But this SUCKS on so many levels and I do not want to be "THAT" asshole teacher. I need to come up with some sort of plan for next year. Or maybe it is a idea of giving the seniors a HUGE 250/350 point project that is due the first days back from the SENIOR SKIP DAY weekend that #1) They cannot afford to not do. #2) Would allot for a written portion of their semester test, which is the following week.
-OR-
I give 50 bonus points to those students who were actually in class and attended. Something meaty and substantial.
I just do not want to be an asshole teacher...but I know deep down that kids these days feel that they are in control, they could care less, and that they will be given everything on a silver platter...and we all know that the minute they hit the "hallowed halls" of their upcoming alma mater, they are going to receive a harsh awakening.
Down from Soap Box#1...
I am tired...
Thanks for listening...
Love-
B
From Beauty and the Beast, our schedule went right into Prom, Post-Prom, State Speech Tournament, to studying for my Speech Praxis, which was probably the worst test I have taken in a LONG time, to auditions for Graduation Speaker and talent for Senior Breakfast. Can you see the direction this is going?
From time to time, I am faced with the phrase: "But you would not have thought this way when you were a student. You look at this with an entire different focus." The student of today is very different from the students we were in high school in the early 90's. My idea of the students of my generation (God that phrase seems to date me) were focused, driven, cohesive, challenged, fighters for what they believed in and passionate about everything. Or at least maybe I was. Then again maybe not. Maybe I am just lofty and jaded.
Today's students are all of these things and more. They are troubled, challenged on so many levels, fighters in gangs, and bring a whole other table of troubles to the table. They also bring a "What's in it for me?" and a "How much is this gonna be worth?" type of attitude to the table that at times can be extremely daunting and nerve-wracking. Almost like they are in a bargaining mode or a "If this is not worth too many points, I am going to consider not doing it," type of thought process. This thinking process would NEVER EVER have crossed my mind because although I may not have agreed with my instructors, I damn well respected them enough to know that "NO" was not an option. I got my homework turned in and it was on time. I never negotiated. I never questioned.
Seniors these days are allowed to exempt their semester tests if they have put in the correct amount of hours and missed no days. This is good. This is a wonderful option for students to achieve. The down side is that they get a mentality of shutting down about four weeks before finals. BOOOOOO!!!! Senioritis! I cannot tell you how many comments from my seniors sounded like, "Well, if I am exempting your test and not performing my monologue for a grade, why do I have to present the monologue in class?" I respond, "Because you are exempt does not buy you free time in every class leading up to semester tests. If you choose to do nothing with your class time, I cannot give you participation points"
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!!! This class is supposed to be easy", I hear under their breath.
"Darlings, life is NOT easy and this is my class. I control it according to my rules. If you do not like the rules, you can pay the consequences." God, I sound like my parents!! ;)
This brings me to an event known as SENIOR SKIP DAY. Seniors miss days during Junior testing. They miss the entire day of Prom to get ready. And then I find out today that the day of their Senior Breakfast, an event which happens to be before school starts, has become known as Senior Skip Day. So to combat this I decided to set it up so that if they choose to miss my classes, by skipping this day, they would not get class participation points for that day. Here's the clincher that I find out...if they buy a ticket for breakfast, they are exempt for the ENTIRE day. SAY WHAT??? To call it a SKIP day shows a choice being made NOT to attend class...Why should I bless this with exemption and points if you cannot get yourself to class and be functional as such?
I try so hard to be a good teacher. I try so hard to be liked and let students know that they have a home away from home, that our department is fun and safe and nurturing. But this SUCKS on so many levels and I do not want to be "THAT" asshole teacher. I need to come up with some sort of plan for next year. Or maybe it is a idea of giving the seniors a HUGE 250/350 point project that is due the first days back from the SENIOR SKIP DAY weekend that #1) They cannot afford to not do. #2) Would allot for a written portion of their semester test, which is the following week.
-OR-
I give 50 bonus points to those students who were actually in class and attended. Something meaty and substantial.
I just do not want to be an asshole teacher...but I know deep down that kids these days feel that they are in control, they could care less, and that they will be given everything on a silver platter...and we all know that the minute they hit the "hallowed halls" of their upcoming alma mater, they are going to receive a harsh awakening.
Down from Soap Box#1...
I am tired...
Thanks for listening...
Love-
B
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