On my way home from helping Justin move yesterday, I got the chance to touch base with my dear friend, Dawn. It had been awhile since we had last talked. It was like we had never been away and picked up right from where we left off in our conversation.
This morning on the Today show, they had a segment concerning friend interventions and how once friends get married or have kids, the friendships they have worked years to cultivate and hone, eventually goes by the wayside. This saddens me.
Many of you know that I am a pretty emotional kind of guy. I have always said that I am more in touch with my feminine side. But, upon further investigation and thinking about these current events, it is totally true. I have a number of friends in my life that have spent our milestone events together and have lost contact.
High School:
You graduate. You pull that tassel across that mortarboard. You write in each other's yearbooks: Never Change, Stay your own Sweet Self, Best Friend's forever. Never lose touch.
College:
You graduate. You promise to stay in touch. You begin your running down life's path in search of your set goals. You promise that friends will be with you forever.
Yet when you jump ahead and look at the life road's each of us walks down, you begin to realize that making promises like that cannot be realistic. You cannot be realistic about staying touch and being your own sweet self. Or can you?
I think you have to be willing to work at it. You have to be willing to put in the time, no matter what the process it takes. Whether it is setting a time to touch base. Whether it is chatting through instant messages. Or reconnecting on Facebook. You do whatever it takes to stay in touch with those people in your life, who have seen you at your best, who have been there when life get's the best of you, when you achieve those life goals, or when life throws you a blow. They have been there through thick and thin.
I celebrate a milestone this week. I am turning 38 years young. I had been dreading the fact that in two years I will be 40. I used to dread this looming milestone. Yet, I dreaded something more...I dreaded the high school reunion. I did not go to my 10year reunion. I just was not in a personal good place...where I wanted to be in my life, those life goal's achieved. Plus, I did not feel like 10 years was enough time for us to "grow" into our skins and be comfortable with who we are.
I know face my 20 year reunion in a different mind set. I am in a different place. I am so much more comfortable in my skin. I feel good with who I am and what I have accomplished. I look forward to reconnecting with old friends and being back in Bismarck, North Dakota...a place I hope has stayed it's own sweet self!!
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P.S. Sometimes you never truly know who your friends are until you face adverse circumstances. Old and new friends alike proudly stand with you, support you. We loved our 20 year reunion so much more so than 10. Next summer will be our 30 year reunion. Time passes but the relationships in life make it fun and worthwhile. xxoo
Your post hit home for me. Since I have recently become a Mrs. I have struggled with finding out how to balance my relationship with a close friend whom I was used to hanging out with on a very regular basis. What I have found is if you feel the friendship is worth the work you will make it happen. It is so worth all the work!
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