Sunday, January 8, 2017
Monday, January 2, 2017
Power of beginning with YES
I love this particular moment for what it says...
No matter how bad the moment is.
No matter what life throws at us.
I think we have to find the strength and courage to place both feet on the ground, push ourselves up from the bed each morning, and just take that first step towards "Now What?"
Facing each day with courage and strength.
Facing each hurdle with grace and mindedness.
Being open to new adventures.
If you are like me, it is hard these days to feel this..."Now What?" has a little bit of a difference to me these days but I do know that in time...the spring of my step will be back with a fervor and I will be able to do these all with stronger step...
However, today I place both feet on the floor, pushing myself to stand, and just Believe in the power of beginning with YES...and whisper it to myself and know that I can take that first step forward...
Onward sweet friends.
Onward...
Sunday, January 1, 2017
New Year Re-solutions for 2017
I look forward and yearn for a better year. Anything would be better than what I have gone through in 2016...but I want 2017 to be more "me" focused. Not to be selfish, but I am at a crossroads...call it a mid-life crisis if you will, but never the less, I am here. I feel like I have lost something. Something I have had in me all my life and it is somehow missing. Not sure of my purpose, my goals, my sense of direction. I need to REdirect and REfocus and REgroup. Oddly, the word "resolutions" that we toy with every time each new year is REsolutions.
Take all the RE's away and you have DIRECT, FOCUS, GROUP, and SOLUTION.
I am going to DIRECT my life in a better direction. I have already stated that I feel like I have taken a turn for the better in regards to my professional career. It is not about a better professional life. But I miss theater and just beung creative in whatever capacity that comes in. I have set a tone of learning the ropes of the Forensics program at Bentonville for the 2016-2017 year and not place focus on my own acting/directing adventures to give myself the chance to grow and learn about the workings of the program I inherited. However at some point I need to figure out how to find that creative outlet I yearn for. I am going to have to figure out how to juggle this passion with the Bentonville schedule.
I look forward to directing "Sweet Charity" at the theater that holds my heart. Yes, I am in a different part of the state, but I am so thankful that they have given me this opportunity and are willing to work with me on this adventure.
Or perhaps I am headed in a new creative, artistic direction? Perhaps I need to branch out to something different artistically and be open to it?
I am going to need to find a new FOCUS on my life. And it HAS TO BE POSITIVE. I am not sure what this area has in store...more to come...and thank GOD I have folks in my life able and willing to help me find this course path.
I need, or let me rephrase this, we (Justin and I) need to find our GROUP up here. That has been one of the hurdles we have been dealt with the last six months of 2016. Along with all of the "NEW JOB" hurdles, and the death of my mother, and moving, and shift that has occurred in our lives, we are in the process of trying to find our GROUP. We are blessed that some of the friends we had when we first started dating have life courses that brought them back to NW Arkansas at the same time we made the move...amazing how life does that, huh? But hopefully 2017 will bring more hangouts, more dinners, more wine/ craft beer with a group of friends, building a stronger support group for each other.
So the SOLUTION for 2017...
Find Purpose.
Pray for a softer year because 2016 was so difficult and hard!
Share and Spread LOVE.
Surround myself with Positivity and be Kinder to myself.
And for the first time in my resolution setting life...I feel like I can get these accomplished.
Take all the RE's away and you have DIRECT, FOCUS, GROUP, and SOLUTION.
I am going to DIRECT my life in a better direction. I have already stated that I feel like I have taken a turn for the better in regards to my professional career. It is not about a better professional life. But I miss theater and just beung creative in whatever capacity that comes in. I have set a tone of learning the ropes of the Forensics program at Bentonville for the 2016-2017 year and not place focus on my own acting/directing adventures to give myself the chance to grow and learn about the workings of the program I inherited. However at some point I need to figure out how to find that creative outlet I yearn for. I am going to have to figure out how to juggle this passion with the Bentonville schedule.
I look forward to directing "Sweet Charity" at the theater that holds my heart. Yes, I am in a different part of the state, but I am so thankful that they have given me this opportunity and are willing to work with me on this adventure.
Or perhaps I am headed in a new creative, artistic direction? Perhaps I need to branch out to something different artistically and be open to it?
I am going to need to find a new FOCUS on my life. And it HAS TO BE POSITIVE. I am not sure what this area has in store...more to come...and thank GOD I have folks in my life able and willing to help me find this course path.
I need, or let me rephrase this, we (Justin and I) need to find our GROUP up here. That has been one of the hurdles we have been dealt with the last six months of 2016. Along with all of the "NEW JOB" hurdles, and the death of my mother, and moving, and shift that has occurred in our lives, we are in the process of trying to find our GROUP. We are blessed that some of the friends we had when we first started dating have life courses that brought them back to NW Arkansas at the same time we made the move...amazing how life does that, huh? But hopefully 2017 will bring more hangouts, more dinners, more wine/ craft beer with a group of friends, building a stronger support group for each other.
So the SOLUTION for 2017...
Find Purpose.
Pray for a softer year because 2016 was so difficult and hard!
Share and Spread LOVE.
Surround myself with Positivity and be Kinder to myself.
And for the first time in my resolution setting life...I feel like I can get these accomplished.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
My 2016 holiday break...looking back
Selfies with nieces. You can tell by one of their faces that they are not so sure about their Uncle Brandon...HA HA HA HA
Games with friends and sharing lots of laughter...Am thinking that this could be a runner for next year's Christmas card...ya think??
A jarring example that my nephew keeps getting more and more handsome and dapper...Love this boy!
Coffee, drinks, and lots of catch-up with sweet friends and compadres. A wish for more of that in the new year to come...
Such a thoughtful gift from my SWEET SWEET cousin, Sherri...Along with body pillow, Christmas blankets, Santa hats, and a stocking filled with goodies...
SUPER COMFY!
SUPER AWESOME!
SUPER GRATEFUL!!!
Lots and lots of puppy cuddles...
A real tree this year that continued to smell SO WONDERFUL well into the new year...a tradition that will have to continue for years to come...Mom would be so proud.
Emmy says, "Daddy, I think you have had a terrific holiday!"
I concur, sweet pup.
I concur.
Friday, December 30, 2016
Here's my thought about 2016...
My husband gave me many awesome gifts for Christmas this year.
One of them was a mug from one of my favorite movies.
And yet seems fitting as we begin to wind up this craptastic year...
Poetic.
And perfect.
And scene.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
The annual Box-Higdem Christmas Card
Christmas Cards did not get sent out this year. SO consider this your update into the Box-Higdem year...our annual Christmas Card letter as many of you joke about...
As we look back.
2016 was not a good year for a lot of us.
There were so many folks who left us...some "too soon" and some we had not had enough time with. SO many vocal artists, so many film artists, so many folks that we were afraid to turn on the television to see who had died next...it was not the proverbial die in threes...but sixes and sevens...
We had THE MOST NEGATIVE political season we have EVER experienced in American history. And it looks like the negativity is going to continue through the next few years. I am not confident in our current situation but will not get into that on here. Too much drama comes from this and I am going to not surround myself with all of that drama...I have so many other issues to deal with rather than pulling myself into a political discussion shit storm.
Many of you know that I was not happy with the professional direction of my life. It was a negative cesspool and felt like I was just beating my head on a wall trying to build a program and was getting nothing but roadblocks and undermining and hypocrisy. It was time for a change. Change came in the form of a move to Northwest Arkansas and a move to a program that I had tried to emulate in regards to building the NLR Forensics program. And I have not regretted the decision whatsoever. I am so blessed to be in a district that not only values the arts, but also sets a positive tone and believes in their educators on so many levels. We made the move in August and the fall semester started with hosting our very own Tiger's Eye speech tournament and taking the kiddos to 4 speech tournaments, including a trip to New Orleans for a different tournament experience...more national styled competition. Spring will be much more competitive...we are taking the squad to 6 tournaments, including a trip to Missouri, and if all goes well, beginning of summer will find us taking kiddos to Nationals in Alabama.
Justin was able to relocate to NW Arkansas thankfully through Best Buy. He continues to work towards his accounting degree...one step at a time. He continues to rock it out and actually received a wonderful opportunity towards the end of 2016. He had spent the summer sending job applications up here more focused towards accounting. He was met with so many shut doors. However about 5 weeks ago, he received an email from a company in Fayetteville he had originally interviewed with over the summer to re-interview and possibly fill one of their accounting positions. He got the JOB and began working with them and LOVES IT!!! It is wonderful to see him with a smile on his face when he talks about his job and working in a field that he actually is studying to be a part of...rather than hanging televisions in people's homes. So Blessed!!
Our puppies continue to bring smiles to our faces. They made the transition fairly well. Violet continues to bully Emmy and is slowly settling in and calming down and becoming more cuddly. Emmy continues to be her schnauzer self and be finicky.
We placed our house in Jacksonville, AR on sale in June. We did not sell it until December 14th!!!!! So it was quite the juggle...having to pay mortgage and rent on two residences for almost 5 1/2 months...so 2017 will be super in regards to finances and not having to juggle any longer. We may have thrown a new car in the mix to celebrate...being that we now live in an area that actually gets snow during the winter months depending on the year...wanted to have at least one vehicle that had AWD to prepare for the possibility of winter weather.
I got the chance to play a role of a life time. I was given the opportunity to play the role of ZAZA/ Albin in the Argenta Community Theater's production of La Cage Aux Folles, the musical version of The Birdcage. What an amazing opportunity and so much fun and so moving and a role I hope I can play again in the future. There are shows that I look back on and keep telling myself that I would revisit at ANY time. Neville Craven in The Secret Garden, Younger Brother in Ragtime, Prior Walter in Angels in America, and now ZAZA. Grateful for the opportunity...terribly moved by the entire experience...
As we look back.
2016 was not a good year for a lot of us.
There were so many folks who left us...some "too soon" and some we had not had enough time with. SO many vocal artists, so many film artists, so many folks that we were afraid to turn on the television to see who had died next...it was not the proverbial die in threes...but sixes and sevens...
We had THE MOST NEGATIVE political season we have EVER experienced in American history. And it looks like the negativity is going to continue through the next few years. I am not confident in our current situation but will not get into that on here. Too much drama comes from this and I am going to not surround myself with all of that drama...I have so many other issues to deal with rather than pulling myself into a political discussion shit storm.
Many of you know that I was not happy with the professional direction of my life. It was a negative cesspool and felt like I was just beating my head on a wall trying to build a program and was getting nothing but roadblocks and undermining and hypocrisy. It was time for a change. Change came in the form of a move to Northwest Arkansas and a move to a program that I had tried to emulate in regards to building the NLR Forensics program. And I have not regretted the decision whatsoever. I am so blessed to be in a district that not only values the arts, but also sets a positive tone and believes in their educators on so many levels. We made the move in August and the fall semester started with hosting our very own Tiger's Eye speech tournament and taking the kiddos to 4 speech tournaments, including a trip to New Orleans for a different tournament experience...more national styled competition. Spring will be much more competitive...we are taking the squad to 6 tournaments, including a trip to Missouri, and if all goes well, beginning of summer will find us taking kiddos to Nationals in Alabama.
Justin was able to relocate to NW Arkansas thankfully through Best Buy. He continues to work towards his accounting degree...one step at a time. He continues to rock it out and actually received a wonderful opportunity towards the end of 2016. He had spent the summer sending job applications up here more focused towards accounting. He was met with so many shut doors. However about 5 weeks ago, he received an email from a company in Fayetteville he had originally interviewed with over the summer to re-interview and possibly fill one of their accounting positions. He got the JOB and began working with them and LOVES IT!!! It is wonderful to see him with a smile on his face when he talks about his job and working in a field that he actually is studying to be a part of...rather than hanging televisions in people's homes. So Blessed!!
Our puppies continue to bring smiles to our faces. They made the transition fairly well. Violet continues to bully Emmy and is slowly settling in and calming down and becoming more cuddly. Emmy continues to be her schnauzer self and be finicky.
We placed our house in Jacksonville, AR on sale in June. We did not sell it until December 14th!!!!! So it was quite the juggle...having to pay mortgage and rent on two residences for almost 5 1/2 months...so 2017 will be super in regards to finances and not having to juggle any longer. We may have thrown a new car in the mix to celebrate...being that we now live in an area that actually gets snow during the winter months depending on the year...wanted to have at least one vehicle that had AWD to prepare for the possibility of winter weather.
I got the chance to play a role of a life time. I was given the opportunity to play the role of ZAZA/ Albin in the Argenta Community Theater's production of La Cage Aux Folles, the musical version of The Birdcage. What an amazing opportunity and so much fun and so moving and a role I hope I can play again in the future. There are shows that I look back on and keep telling myself that I would revisit at ANY time. Neville Craven in The Secret Garden, Younger Brother in Ragtime, Prior Walter in Angels in America, and now ZAZA. Grateful for the opportunity...terribly moved by the entire experience...
And of course, everything pales and seems forgotten when I think about 2016 and the passing of my mother. She was my absolute BEST FRIEND and became the defining source of tone for my entire year. Losing her battle to cancer has been the source of numerous stories on this blog and will continue to be I am sure on here as I continue to process this major loss in my life. I am grateful for all of the outpouring of love and support from my husband, my family and my friends. I have never experienced something this profoundly overwhelming on all levels of my life and have said numerous times that this is the first time I have felt like I had to become an adult and deal with very adult issues and situations. Lord ADULTING sucks sometimes.
So there you go... 2016 can suck it as far as I am concerned...but so many life lessons learned and will be the defining format of 2017 I am sure.
Much love to each of you!
Merry Christmas to each of you and may the New Year bring you much peace, much love, and much laughter...Lord Knows we need it!
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
I made it...
I made it...
The Christmas holiday is over and I made it through...
Christmas Eve Day and night were particularily rough...I tried very hard to hold it together but it was a discussion about whether I had gotten to the point where I can just talk to my mom when I began to crumble. Truth is I cannot. I am not at that point where I can do this...but am so thankful for all of the hugs from my husband and family that really held me up and made me feel so much better.
Many had suggested that Justin and I try to shake up the traditions and do something extremely different this year...I am going to be honest...I had doubts and kept thinking if maybe we should have done something like this rather than head to Little Rock to be with family, however, on this side of it, I am SOOOOOOO glad we went and spent time with our Little Rock family. I am so grateful for my family...so much love and support, so much strength.
To get a lengthy hug from my nephew was the world.
To see the excitement in my niece's eyes on Christmas Morning...how cool.
To watch the littlest niece walk her way through the kitchen and showcase her many facial expressions...crazy how much a year can make a difference... I had forgotten this...I had missed this...Remind myself that time heals everything...a year from now...I pray I will be stronger, lighter, and better.
To visit with my family and reconnect...priceless.
Many friends reached out to text me their love and support, knowing that it would be rough, knowing that I was in the thick of it and for that I am so grateful and overwhelmed. One beautiful sentiment came from a friend who texted, "Hope you are doing okay. Remember it does get different."
I love that phrase because it is the truth. I know that it will never be the same. I know that Christmases will always and forever be different without her to set the tone. But once I get the spring in my step back, once I can find myself able to take a FULL breath and not wonder if the tears will fall, I can decide what tone I want to set for the holidays and what I can do to make a difference in this world.
Small steps.
Regrouping.
Finding my stride again...
The Christmas holiday is over and I made it through...
Christmas Eve Day and night were particularily rough...I tried very hard to hold it together but it was a discussion about whether I had gotten to the point where I can just talk to my mom when I began to crumble. Truth is I cannot. I am not at that point where I can do this...but am so thankful for all of the hugs from my husband and family that really held me up and made me feel so much better.
Many had suggested that Justin and I try to shake up the traditions and do something extremely different this year...I am going to be honest...I had doubts and kept thinking if maybe we should have done something like this rather than head to Little Rock to be with family, however, on this side of it, I am SOOOOOOO glad we went and spent time with our Little Rock family. I am so grateful for my family...so much love and support, so much strength.
To get a lengthy hug from my nephew was the world.
To see the excitement in my niece's eyes on Christmas Morning...how cool.
To watch the littlest niece walk her way through the kitchen and showcase her many facial expressions...crazy how much a year can make a difference... I had forgotten this...I had missed this...Remind myself that time heals everything...a year from now...I pray I will be stronger, lighter, and better.
To visit with my family and reconnect...priceless.
Many friends reached out to text me their love and support, knowing that it would be rough, knowing that I was in the thick of it and for that I am so grateful and overwhelmed. One beautiful sentiment came from a friend who texted, "Hope you are doing okay. Remember it does get different."
I love that phrase because it is the truth. I know that it will never be the same. I know that Christmases will always and forever be different without her to set the tone. But once I get the spring in my step back, once I can find myself able to take a FULL breath and not wonder if the tears will fall, I can decide what tone I want to set for the holidays and what I can do to make a difference in this world.
Small steps.
Regrouping.
Finding my stride again...
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