Things you should have said...

I am kinda hit or miss on this saying.

There are so many times when I walked away from an occurrence, an event, an argument or a discussion and just kept thinking, " I shoulda said this! OH WAIT...I should just have said this!!" The prior made plan for difficult discussions is only so good.

There are moments I wish I could have taken things back because I was just being hurtful. 

There are moments I wish I would have never done and could just erase...

purely for allowing my heart to be lighter and angst free.

Yet, there are times when you need to say exactly what is on your heart and then let it go. 

There are times when it is best to just let it go and not say anything.

And for crying out loud, you don't have to put every little thing on social media showing your stupidity and lack of filter.

I think the true sign of maturity and growth is learning to filter

...which goes against this very saying.

I think you just have to figure out how to navigate through each moment as it presents itself.

As one of my mentors taught us, "You have to weigh the pros and cons of a situation or potential discussion, make the best possible decision at that very moment, have the discussion, and then move forward, never looking back. Never second guess or you will spend youe entire life and energy second guessing every little move you make, every discussion you ever had. And you will just make yourself so very tired."

 I think this is so very true. It is all about preserving energy and preventing worry about whether or not you should have said this or handled this situation better than you did.

 There are times when the choices we make or the things we say sets everything into motion that once said we have no control over. From that moment, it is open to whatever will be, will be.

If you feel remorse for something you said or did, I do feel as long as you apologize when you are wrong, hug it out if you are truly sorry and allow what will be to be...life will be better. 

Preserve your energy and let others make their own decisions, let the chips fall as they will.

Do not live in regret of the past.

Look toward the future.

You are better for it.

The power of family

Families these days come in many shapes and sizes. There are so many people in our lives we consider family, even if we are not blood related. Love makes us family.

Heart makes us family.

Showing up when someone needs you.

Being there when you need it most makes each of us family.

Sharing love for one another.

Love and adventures together.

Finding moments to get away.

To be together.

Just the two of us.

Gathering together to document special moments each of us want to remember. Sharing food and fellowship and time together. Creating memories we will carry with us forever.

Gathering around and enjoying moments together...even during the difficult times. And finding a smile we can all share.

Taking notice of the smallest detail, noticing the beauty of it, and being in awe of that,,,

the smiles...

Sharing anniversaries.

Sharing new food in a new town and taking in the sites.

Sharing laughter.

Sharing a roadtrip to support another family member.

Being together and doing something you each enjoy.

Supporting each other through the rough times.

Loving on each other during the celebrations and just those times together.

Be present in each moment

Recognizing that little ones grow up...

sometimes way to fast...

and recognizing that you can't hold them down...

But have to prepare them to fly.

To the friendships that have stood the test of time and remaining connected.

Enjoying the moments together and valuing the memories we've shared.

Crying together.

Laughing together.

Being together.

All important.

The opportunity to come together.

Change each other's lives.

To create memories that will endure a lifetime.

To celebrate the joyous moments

To hug it out.

And be grateful for those hugs.

Cause you just never know...

Here here!!

We have to.

We just have to believe.

We have to put positivity out there in the world and believe that the world isn't as scary as it is becoming.

Find the good.

Be the good.

Create the good.

Carry on.

Pictures that make me happy

I have been seeing this push on Facebook to share black and white photos on there with zero explanations and just put out there. I found this title topic on a journal idea post and thought, "Why not? We all need gentle reminders of moments in time, special people, friends and family that make us smile, right?"

So here are some of mine...

Enjoy

Daily gratitude...why it is more than just fluff

About to have an Oprah moment.

It is so easy to get bogged down with the negativity in today's world. And believe me there is PLENTY.
But we have to figure out a mind shift for the upcoming year, figure out a way to change the things we have complete control over and find a way to shift the dark cloud in our lives and begin a new way of looking at things in our own lives.

I think it is time to focus more on gratitude on a daily basis. Focus on the little things that have happened in our lives and be grateful for them. The possibilities are endless and important to notice.

I found a terrific website that I wanted to share with you...it is called Happify Daily. And it is a study being taken to study how we navigate through life and how stress hinders that journey. But an article that I found particularily inforative was entitled, "The Science behind Gratitude (and How it can CHANGE your life)" by Derrick Carpenter, he gives us a framework on how to refocus our gratitude strategy.

First, FRESHEN UP YOUR THANKS! This could be from those good ole gratitude journals and every night before going to bed, take an assessment of your day. And make sure to be grateful about the little things...the little moments...and be more specific. While it is good to be grateful about your job, or your marriage...perhaps it is better to say "I am so thankful I was able to be there for Jenny today." -or- "I am so grateful for John putting the dishes away today without asking."
But what Carpenter encourages is that you stretch your gratitude beyond what is in front of your eyes..."I am grateful for that sunrise I saw on the way to work." -or- "I am grateful for the taste of tonight's dinner." By becoming more focused on opening our eyes to the world around us, Carpenter says that we will experience a deeper level of gratitude.

Second, GET REAL ABOUT YOUR THANKFULNESS PRACTICE!
Carpenter states, "Being excited about the benefits of gratitude can be a great thing because it gives us the kick we need to start making changes. But if our excitement about sleeping better because of our newfound gratitude keeps us from anticipating how tired we’ll be tomorrow night when we attempt to journal, we’re likely to fumble and lose momentum. When we want to achieve a goal, using the technique of mental contrasting—being optimistic about the benefits of a new habit while also being realistic about how difficult building the habit may be – leads us to exert more effort. Recognize and plan for the obstacles that may get in the way. For instance, if you tend to be exhausted at night, accept that it might not be the best time to focus for a few extra minutes and schedule your gratitude in the morning instead."

Third is MAKE THANKFULNESS FUN BY MIXING IT UP
If journaling becomes boring to you to stagnant, stir it up a bit...perhaps Carpenter suggests a gratitude jar? I am thinking of posting a weekly affirmation of what I am grateful for for that particular week. Or perhaps posting a week of daily gratitude on Facebook?

Last is the most awesome and most daunting. BE MORE SOCIAL ABOUT YOUR DAILY GRATITUDE.
This entails accountability but I think it also allows gratitude to spread. My blog will put my gratitude out on a weekly basis. But Carpenter also encourages us to think about compiling and creating a gratitude letter to someone who has made a particular impact on our lives and to write/verbalize how they have done that...and then SEND THE LETTER!!! Perhaps it is someone who you have not properly thanked? It may open up a wonderful conversation that would promote even more gratitude.

Carpenter concludes, "Incorporating gratitude into your life is easy—and fun—with Happify's activities and games: Sign up today!"

Give it a shot!!! What can it hurt??

Perhaps you could follow my blog by becoming a follower and we can hold each other accountable for the gratitude we put out there!!  

Evan Hansen...You Will be Found

The above video was created from a musical that is quickly becoming one of my favorite musicals.

My students absolutely adore this musical and I just wasn't even sure what it was about...

But then I did a little research and actually gave it a listen...

I was blown away...

and can totally see why my kiddos loved it so much!!

From NBC Nightly News, February 24, 2017. 

Part of the way that "Dear Evan Hansen" explores its theme of connecting is by incorporating social media into the show, both in the story and physically on stage.

'I think social media has amplified this sense that we are connected, but ultimately we are doing it in front of a screen and we are in these isolated pods ... but our generation and the time we are living in now, people are lonelier than they have ever been,' Pasek said.

The leader of a student group, Meredith Boyan, was encouraged to use the show as a teaching tool after taking her students to a performance. 'I think we're gonna probably have a lot of conversations about feeling alone and how to reach out to people,' she said. "And I know I'm definitely going to highlight the resources we have at our school for kids to get help if they're feeling like they need help, and I actually have a sign on my door that says it's a safe place for kids to come to talk — so I think that's going to be a highlight in our school.'The show’s inspiring anthem resonates, as it tells all that even if at times you feel invisible, you will be found."

From across the silence you will be heard...
I love this musical so much...not necessarily the honoring of someone who did something repulsive in the face of death...but what topics come from it...

I can totally see, in today's explosion of internet and social media, which at times can be anything but social how we can get lost from anyone's sight. It is so easy to blend in and to feel like you are unimportant. And it has motivated me to be more to my students, to encourage them that they have a voice, that that voice is important and that they can belong to a family, a support group, and that they will indeed "be found".

Mind blowing gratitude....

I stole this from a friend's Facebook wall but it rang true on my heart and soul.

"Think of all the great people in your life. Then think about how amazing it is you found each other at just the right moment"

No truer phrase was ever spoke.
It is true that everybody comes into your life at the perfect time. 
No question. 
No doubt.
We have so much to learn from each other.
We have so much to experience from each other,
if we will just listen to each other and stop arguing or talking AT each other.

Always remember...
There are folks who come into our lives for a particular moment, help each other, and then move forward, 
never to cross paths again....

There are folks who linger longer, meant to travel with us for a longer period of time.
To share more experiences with you, to help you, to love you, to share the hugs and the laughter.

But you know what?
I am grateful for all kinds of moments.
All kinds of friendships.
All kinds of journeys.
All kinds of defining moments...
Because we learn so much from each of those moments of interaction and sharing.

I can honestly say that I have learned so much from each of you.
You have each made me who I am today 
and who I will become in the future... 
And for that...
I am thankful.
I am blessed.
I am grateful.
And I count you all as cherished friends, my family, and appreciate all of our cherished memories.