The birthday that came and went...

Some said I was being overly sensitive...
Some said it was perfectly ok for me to be a little emotional about it...
Some rubbed it in my face and thought it was funny...
Some just gave me a hug and said "I won't mention the day today, but know that you are loved"
Some brought a video of photos from my childhood that brought me to tears...the good kind.
Some drove miles and miles to be together on our milestone birthday year...and for that I am ever grateful...
Some brought cards and kept it very surface...which was so nice...
Some sent cards and well wishes from afar with wonderful words of encouragement that meant the absolute world to me...I could feel the love with every wish.
Most mentioned that the BEST IS YET TO COME. Most loved their 40's. I feel the same...I probably will love being 40, just not so close to the day reminder of my birth.

The birthday was exactly what I needed it to be...

There were no black balloons, no crepe paper streamers, or "Over the Hill" signs- no "Mourning the passing of your youth" crap to be seen and for that I am SUPER grateful. For you see, for me, that is the true essence of what this birthday was not for me...I have struggled and probably will struggle for awhile with this year and what it sybolizes to me personally. I am not in mourning nor did I want anything around me that showcased mourning...Why mourn a life well lived and more to come?
I am 40. (That seems so alien to me...)
I feel 25 and feel the child-like spirit inside of me bursting to get out. I feel by no means a 40 year old inside this body of mine.

I hyper-ventilated (inside) when I saw the "4" and "0" candles on top of the ice cream cake at my folks' house up in Minnesota. All I could think of was "Holy crapballs, no matter how much you deny it...There it is to SMACK you upside the head and say, 'Guess what' ?"
Truth be told, You cannot escape.
It doesn't sneak up on you at times. Sometimes it beats you across your face and says...like it or not, here I am...what are you going to do about it? Nothing you can do, but accept it as gracefully as you can and move forward.
Not beautiful.
Not sneaky.
Not bad.
Not kind.
Just Harsh and quick.

Time flies by so quickly when you are attempting to live life to its absolute fullest. And truthfully, isn't that what it is truly about...regardless of age? Live your life to its absolute fullest, filling every moment with vitality and vigor? I could, honestly do a better job of living...I find myself a little more entrenched than I would like...Perhaps I should hug harder. Love even harder. Pray even harder than that. Make sure that those important people in your life know that you love them.

As Mame says in Auntie Mame: "Life is a banquet and most sons-of-bitches are starving themselves."

That is the truest motto ever spoke.
And I am ok with that.

I am going to live my life to its absolute fullest as best I can, with childlike eyes and brighter vision. Forgive me if I stutter a while on saying it when asked. Forgive me when I wince when the question is asked...I am trying hard to embrace it, but it will be what it is...

Bring on the next year...and may it be filled with adventures that I will never forget.