Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Ghost Squatter

So as many of you may know, we have a new member to our household...and we are in the mode of teething and learning what the process is of peeing and pooping outside. (Sorry to be graphic) Our miniature Schnauzer is doing really really well! She is learning so much.

She has already learned to fetch and bring back her ball, or her squeaky pink dragon, whichever is the toy of choice. She seems to not want to let it go once she has brought it back to you...but that will come in time.

She has learned that the bathroom is outside. She even scratches at the door when she needs to go out. I think that that is a HUGE accomplishment at the tender age of 14 weeks. She has even learned to climb the back step to get back inside but that came with her growth spurt and the fact that she was a mere 2 lbs, when we first got her, and she is now pushing 6.

She has even learned what she can and cannot do with specific Daddies. She knows she cannot get away with anything with Justin, yet it seems that she pushes the cute factor with me and then proceeds to break the rules. Is this the vision of things to come when children enter the picture?? Heaven help me...

It seems that she has what I call a "cute" pose. She scratches at the door, signalling that she needs to go outside to use the potty. When I let her outside, she heads out faithfully into the grass and proceeds to assume the squatting position, we dog owners know so well...only with Emmy, it is a hit or miss kinda thing. She always squats and looks shyly over her shoulder up into my eyes with those deep loving eyes saying, "I am so cute. You love me, don'tcha?" You know the look...

Only it seems that this is a ghost squat as there is no real peeing going on. And she proceeds to go and do this around the yard...where it is hit or miss as to whether or not she will pee or not, always looking to see where her master for the day is sitting, whether or not he is watching her cuteness pounce around the yard, and watching her pee dance. When said master thinks surely she must be done, we decide it is cute to walk back and forth between said master's feet, weaving in and out, and missing a crunch of bones within inches of her life. We get back into the house and receive a treat for said pee dance and get put down on the floor with her pink dragon, sock monkey, chew toys, and pillow bed...a plethora of amazing toys to play with...

What seems like 1 minute later, said master hears a scratch at the door, signalling yet another need to go to the bathroom. Said master gets testy when this dance continues for a half an hour, off and on scratches, and then said master says, " Heck with that...surely it is going to need to be once every hour..." and ignores said scratch.

WRONG choice on behalf of said master as Emmy decides to leave huge pool of piss at the door....
(at least it is on the linoleum now)...

When will silly Master learn the art of the ghost squat and the missing pee?

We wait and see my friends, we wait and see...

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