December Makes Me Feel This Way

I think this is one of my most favorite recent Christmas carols...
It has so much more to say and speaks to my heart on such a deeper level...

Every Christmas season it becomes my hope and wish that the world be new and precious as a newborn.
That all of the hatred in the world would disappear...that I could have that proverbial Miss America moment and promote world peace and puppies.
And that I truly see the love radiating from every face.

This year there seems to be a disjointed intensity to the holiday season...whether it is the shortness of the holidays this year or the craziness one hears on the television every night during the news...the world is different and there is a harshness that resonates through the happier wishes of Peace and Goodwill to all men...Can't we just get back to before? Or have we passed that point of no return...

I feel more lost this year than ever. I feel more disjointed, not connected it seems. Perhaps it is exhaustion, perhaps it is the common tone of the country and world in general, perhaps it is where I am...the end of the semester...it seems that love and peace are being tested it seems.

What I need to remember is the bridge to this carol...

"This spirit will guide me...

Whenever I am lost, it's gonna find me.

And when I am unsure, it will remind me,

Of who I am, what I can be...

December lives inside of me."

We all have the potential within us to create goodness where we are...it doesn't just go away when the last box of ornaments have been put back in the attic, yet we are so quick to jump back into the schedule and we forget...the innocence of that child's face on Christmas morning...the peaceful falling of the snow outside a frost covered window.

I am a better person for Christmas.

I am a more whole person with my fondness for the holiday season and who cares if Christmas throws up at my house...it makes me happier and calmer and a better person to have the joy in my heart and in my home. I need the gentle reminder that Christmas needs to be inside the heart all year round as a reminder of my potential...of who I am at my very core and who I have yet to become.