This is a very powerful video of a family who was once broken and now seems to have it all together and can have open, honest conversations because they are in it for common good of their child. Beautiful, important, and poignant.
I have observed my own parents over the years, struggle with each other, work to try and figure each other out even after the separation. I have also noticed a very beautiful thing...my step mom, Pam, always claims me as her own...even though I am her "son from another mother" and my Mom embraces that. They have always seemed to have a very good relationship when it came to me and were always cordial to each other. They consistently ask about how the other is and that is important. I am so grateful about this and am so lucky to have such strong women in my life who love and support me.
Now I know that it has not always been wine and roses all the time but I would like to think in the end it's important to remember that the step-parents are not there to replace but to add to...to make sure that the end goal always needs to be for the benefit of the child... not a tug-of-war.
I am always excited to hear that my folks do speak to each other and check in on each other off and on...moreso recently and I think that that is important and beneficial. I am long past the child stage where touch bases are a daily occurrence but I do find great solace in the fact that my parents can talk to each other civilized and adult-like. It does my heart good...
It also does my heart well to see how much my step-parents really love and admire my own parents. It always brings tears to my eyes to witness how nurturing they are of the other. I truly believe that where my folks were at the time of their divorce has really blossomed into the strongest relationships with others. It just did not work out for them, maybe because deep down, there were issues, there were problems, there were core structures that were just not ready...and it took more years of inner personal work, more years of figuring themselves out...what they wanted, what they needed, what they hoped for in order to find the true someone who could be their soul mate. I always tell my students you have to be good here (point to my heart) and good here (point to my head) in order to be able to let someone else into your world.
I think both of my folks did terrific and am blessed with two really cool families. I look back on my life, and I also tell my own students that I would NEVER change a thing in regards to my parent's divorce as I have the BEST family a guy could ask for with amazing nieces and nephews who would have never been in the picture if the divorce had never happened. I believe that with life struggle comes perspective and insight.
The video really showcases a family unit who really has it together and then the kindest moments ever, hence the tears, when the parents are writing a letter to their step counterpart is just beautiful and poetic and important as well. I know my step mom has done this many times with my own mother...
I am just plain blessed to have such strong, nurturing, loving supportive parents to help me, teach me, to love me and to be there when I need them! I love that!
Thank you, Mom and Dad, for doing the best you possibly could. For being who you are and for loving me. For showing me your struggle. For loving us through the rough times and the good ones too. For always being there for me when I needed the support.
Thank you Pam and Steve for loving my folks, through the good and the bad and for holding me up when I need you the most. Thank you for serving as such strong examples of parents. I am so grateful to you both and blessed to have you in my life.
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