Boy howdy, we have all been there with this one.
How many times have we set expectations for ourselves that seemed grand and perfect and important and powerful? And perhaps not realistic, yet we coerce ourselves to believe in these and hold them as forward thinking goals.
But the important thing is that word...REALISTIC.
Oh my GOODNESS...
This one.
I have struggled with this for so many years of my life.
When I was much younger, I envisioned a life for myself that was grandiose and so different than where I currently am, including becoming a theatre producer, living a life of performing/ directing and creating theatre full time. Such HUGE long term goals.
And reaching certain age hurdles I reached, usually in the fives, always brought an amount of depression, as I had not reached those goals. And I allowed my next steps to be defined by this depression, this deep disappointment in what I had not done with my life, the goals I had not reached, dreams I had not pursued...things I had not accomplished by that certain point in my life...
And truth? Should NEVER have done that. Should NEVER have allowed that because I missed out on so many experiences.
But perhaps it is better to remind ourselves of the setting those goals realistically. It was not realistically in the cards for me, financially, emotionally, physically, ad spiritually. I think there were choices that I made, perhaps were made for me, that steered me onto such a different course. And I honor that. I accept that. I bloom where I am planted.
The important thing to remember about life's expectations is learning how to cope with the disappointment of not accomplishing this or that, but reminding yourself to continue to be kind to yourself, stop the self-loathing, and figure out how to be a better YOU. Set shorter, smaller goals rather than the larger version. And making sure the expectations you set are REALISTIC for YOU.
Unrealistic expectations only lead to disappointment, angst, and depression. This includes your focus towards friends, family, your career, your life goals... all of it.
Ashley Fern writes in her article entitled, "Managing your Expectations is the key to your Happiness" from the website Elite Daily,
"An unfortunate pitfall of having high expectations in certain circumstances is that we prevent ourselves from enjoying the experience altogether. If you feel this way in your life, you need to readjust your expectations. Do not expect things out of situations, just go into them with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.
When you have unrealistic notions for people, you place yourself at a high risk of getting disappointed and hurt. Maybe someone did let you down in certain aspects, but isn’t it inherently unfair to have these people on such a pedestal? By maintaining an accurate awareness of your own realities, you become able to determine what is truly expected from others.
Such disappointment can lead to several outcomes, including trying to get this person to change and an increased anger toward the person who is causing the disappointment. This becomes problematic since the fault lies with you for putting such pressure on this person."
Just thoughts for your day, friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment