Every time I go to northern Minnesota to visit family, I have one particular family member that always makes a specific point to remind me about how important family is...and almost feels like attempting to rebuild a couple of relationships that are currently fractured and might be broken.
And it got me thinking...
While I agree with the idea of "the importance of family", what happens when a family member burns you to the point of questioning whether they are as important as they were in days gone by? Maybe too much value is placed on worrying about what others think and maybe should be placed on connection and making the most out of each moment together.
GETTING BURNED and relationships shift towards soul protection, towards base surface connection only and zero depth, and begin to lack importance as they have in the past. When a person makes the decision to do something against someone who is a family member, that relationship will always emerge differently than it ever has been in the past. Choices were made and there are always ramifications for those choices and one cannot do anything about that but move forward, sometimes leaving the relationship behind.
And that is ok, I think.
Investing time in the concept of family is important, true, but it has become so much more in today's society. I struggle with that sometimes because the concept of family has shifted so much in the almost 50 years I have been on this earth. (I have been using that phrase a lot here lately, haven't I? HA HA HA Can you tell I am in the thick of turning 50?)
The family concept used to be thick and thin...common bond...strong bonds of blood and driven by connection and tradition...but as I get older...I take those moments together with a greater sense of focus when together as those times are few and far apart. Life presents moments to reconnect, share laughs, and love...Life totally happens and we move apart, ebbing and flowing and moving in and out of each other's lives like the tides of the ocean.
And we have to learn to be okay with that...to make the absolute MOST of the times when we are brought back together...because THAT is what is more important.
But now I also look at my family unit as members who are not necessarily blood as part of my family as well. Special friends who have been there through thick and thin and who have helped me to navigate through this life with purpose, with focus, and with strong shoulders I have been able to lean on.
Today's concept of family has become:
Blood relatives
In-laws
Single parents
Guardians
Chosen families
Divorced parents
Multi-cultural
Same-sex parents
And we have seen a shift with the tides. And that is ok.
Family means so much more these days. We need to open our hearts to so much more and be grateful for all of life's blessings. Perhaps be a lot less judgy and just plain love one another.
I am so grateful for all of my family...blood and chosen. Near and far. Past and present. I love you all and am so grateful to have you in my life.
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