I have found a terrific, very thought-provoking website that some of you may or may not know about. If you do not, I suggest you do so with a quickness. There are so many topics it covers and I have had many an AH HA moment while looking through some of its articles.
The website is: http://themindunleashed.org/
The website deals with everything from paradigm shifts to fear, from toxic relationships to the unknown. I am growing to love it more and more every passing day.
One of the interesting recent articles is entitled, "18 Ways You're Making Your Life Harder Than It Has to Be". It can be found here for future reference: http://themindunleashed.org/2014/08/18-ways-youre-making-life-harder.html
This is one of those articles that I will definitely be sharing with my students at some point in the upcoming year and need to heed its words much closer as the year progresses in my own world. What rings true to me is this...the article states, "As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.... Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need."
Many of the points covered in this article ring true for my own life. I am going to have to take a few blog posts to really get my thoughts down on some of these and will cover them over the coming few weeks.
#1 speaks to me on a level that when I was younger, I felt I needed to please my parents and grandparents. I had to do the right thing, have the right "correct" job, and have the perfect life. No one I dated could stand up to my own ideas of bringing them home to meet the parents and live to tell about it.
My work as an actor was not good enough. My life in the arts had to be defined in a certain way...and for some that route was by being a teacher. A life in the arts = uncertainty, job to job, and pay check to paycheck. And for some, that life choice was not appropriate. They believed that in order for me to appear "successful" I needed to do something more stable...like being a teacher...or retail to pay the rent and then you can go and play at night in the theatre...ignoring the fact that truly this field of theatre was one of my strongest passions.
So as you can see, there is some animosity towards these folks, and somewhat forcing this profession on me. And animosity towards myself for allowing myself to be twisted a bit and making the choice. Yes I am good at it. Yes I love it. I LOVE what I do. I find great pride and accomplishment in educating young people on the beauty of the arts. But does it mean that I am shutting my door to other opportunities? Possibly. And for that I feel sad.
It is only in my late 30's and early 40's that I have found my inner voice. I have felt the need to "peel back the layers and think for myself." Sad that it took that long, huh? I have allowed myself to listen to my SELF and break the mold. Stop living my life for those around me and start following my own intuition and gut.
Yes, I do have a partner and a life with him that I know I need to be cognizant of his life as well as mine. I know this...and thankfully, he loves and supports me and understands that this is something I am struggling with. He more so than anybody else now understands this and loves me regardless of the struggles.
#1 says "For much of our lives – especially at the beginning – we get told what do, how to think, what looks good, what “success” is, etc. You don’t have to buy into any of it anymore. Feel free to peel back the layers. Think for yourself. Listen to your Self. Break the mold. When you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your own intuition, you will find exactly what you are looking for."
Ignore the inner critic, take a deep breath, and live and love the life you are destined to live. Not by anyone else's mold, but by your own adventure.
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