At your true core...

It's time to dig down deep and figure this all out.

Figure out what you want out of this thing called LIFE.

This one really struck me.

Oh the times when I just felt the need to belong, to be the life of the party, to be the funny one, to be the one everybody wanted to be around.

Mind you...

I am still very much this type of personality, but I have also found that I pushed myself to be this when I was younger and I just don't want this to be what defines the total idea  folks have of me.

But in the soul-searching and times where I just floundered around, I found myself.

I was on a rat-race and never took the time to figure who I was at my very core.

I was not comfortable in who I was.

I was a persona...Someone I believed was who people wanted to be around.

And it just wasn't doing me any good.

I was sad.

I was lonely.

I was extremely uncomfortable with ME.

I was even fake at times.

I only allowed certain people to be let in and then it was only a select few and only certain amounts of what I would allow them to see.

As the years have progressed, I have pushed myself to be come more open,  more quiet, more contemplative and figure out who I was becoming and redirect to become a more "present" person.

To actually listen.

Pay attention to others around me.

Offer shoulder and heart.

More than I have in the past...

And you know what?

In my allowing myself to be more raw, to be more open, to be more forthright with my feelings,

 to fail, to pick myself up and dust myself off and begin again,

I am finding out more about myself than what I had originally believed to be true.

To be kinder to myself.

To be okay with myself 

and LOOK...

I have learned that there are some aspects I like about myself

Some I am going to work on and try to fix.

A work in progress folks...

And that is okay.