Ahhhhh the sharing time...
5 things...
hmm
The very first one would definitely be running for Mr Max. It was so far out of my comfort zone running for a bar title and figuring out how to navigate through it all while being true to myself. The biggest issue with running for this contest was the underwear portion of the evening's competition...I am so body self-conscious that I knew that this was going to be uncomfortable. But I had looked at all the theater seasons around the Omaha area, there was nothing on them that appealed to me, I had had such an awesome time with the cabaret shows I was a part of that I decided to give it a shot. And I WON and became Mr Max 13!!! And what a crazy year ahead it was!!! Emceeing lots of fundraising shows, performing live many weekends of the year, serving the gay community, creating shows for charitable groups I believed in. And there were many things that I look back on and think, WOW. I did that!!! Drag queen jello wrestling. Turnabout shows where the guys become their drag counterparts and vice versa raising money for a charitable cause. Created a Country Western Show where a group of my friends agreed to create a clogging number on the bar in the show hall with all the runner lights behind us...Coyote Ugly STYLE...it was AWESOME!!! Also riding in parades and representing the Max. The brotherhood I have experienced and felt from the rest of the brotherhood since that day has been so amazing. Was a wonderful experience and am so thankful that I did it.
Second would have to be finding the courage to come out. The LGBTQ community have such an uphill climb in regards to this. It is such a struggle, keeping this secret, and wondering who will accept you and who will not.I have been blessed to have been loved and supported by so many throughout this process of coming out. And I would say I was very lucky. But it doesn't lessen the butterflies and angst I feel whenever I have to tell my story to a loved one or a friend who does not know...or even with my students at the beginning of the school year. It was always cautiously and with trepidation at times...But you know what, I have gotten to a point in my life where I feel it is very IMPORTANT and MEANINGFUL and POWERFUL to find your own truth and to be willing to share it with others. I quickly adopted the mindset that if they had a problem with it, that was and is their problem...not mine.... OPEN and HONEST all the way.
It was not an easy road to get to this point and it is worse for others, especially for those living in secret in the Bible belt. Throw God and beliefs into the mix and it is a toxic cocktail. But my road was a fairly smooth trek in comparison to others...with a few bumps and surprises along the way. My mom was the struggle, shockingly. She and I were so close and I know that she had strong hopes and dreams for me that just were not going to be..or it was going to be on a different level...with me at the helm navigating my way through it all. And I was thankful for it.
Third would be finding the courage to move to New York City and pursue a dream and a goal. After living in smaller communities all my life...the choice to pursue a degree from the Actors Studio School of Drama was a huge leap. Granted it did not go as planned and turned very quickly into a "world event" with 9/11...i struggled with disappointment at those moments but never once have I regretted that decision to move and try. The friends I made and continue to communicate with is phenomenal. To watch them grow and learn and succeed is worth it all. I would do it all over again.
Fourth would definitely have to be not shying away from difficult roles in my acting career. Each role brings its challenges and hurdles. Each role brings an attempt to honestly portray a different person with different values, struggles, joys, loves, fails, and issues. What a cool opportunity to tackle someone different than myself and attempt to figure why they do the things thry do and what makes them tick. Prior Walter, from Angels in America, was one of THOSE roles. Suffering from Aids and on the early stages of dementia. Hearing voices. Struggling to not be alone when the end approaches. Trying to remain cool, calm, and collected as your world starts to crumble around you. Something we all experience at times. Prior approaches it all with fear, with passion, and with questions. I learned so much about myself from Prior on how to live life...with a silk kimono and a fiery wit and passion.
Last would definitely have to be...navigating through thus thing called life. This was a VERY difficult topic for me as there were so many things to choose from...but I think that that says my life is well LIVED. I do hesitate quite a bit and can be quite the stickler and old fashioned stick in the mud...i come by it honestly...but on a daily basis I try to remind myself to LIVE. To quote Auntie Name, "Life is a banquet...and most sons of bitches are starving themselves."
WHY?
There is so much to do and to experience and to share with others.
Live it FULLY, friends!
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